


Friending Alistair

by Ryker_Davis



Series: Forgiveness is Divine [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24874285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryker_Davis/pseuds/Ryker_Davis
Summary: Part One of the Forgiveness is Divine Series.   Prequel to Seeking AlistairRhiannon Amell is a Circle mage who has been given the freedom of life outside the Tower by becoming a Grey Warden. She meets Alistair, saves his brother, and travels with them. Falling in love with the Prince.  Breaking his heart and causing him to leave a Ferelden a broken man.
Relationships: Alistair & Amell (Dragon Age), Leliana/Cailan Theirin, Male Cousland/Morrigan (Dragon Age)
Series: Forgiveness is Divine [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799884
Kudos: 7





	1. Enchanters Gamble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan has brought Aedan Cousland to Fereldan's Cirle of Mage on thier way to Ostagar. He wasn't paticularly looking for a new warden just a greater commitment from the Mages and Templars. Maybe someone was meddling and he just didn't know it.

_9:29_ **Dragon** _22_ **Harring** – Kinloch Keep, Ferelden’s Circle Tower

Duncan found himself standing at the bookcase flipping through a tome on written by a Tevinter Mage during the third blight. The book wasn’t old enough to have what he was looking for, but it did have a mention of a magic that sounded like the blight.

For the past, several years he’d searched for journals or written works of the First Enchanter Remille. This had become as routine as going to the Monastery to check on Alistair and then to Redcliff to report what he knew.

The mage had come from Orlais to be the First Enchanter before Ferelden’s uprising. Therefore, it made sense he’d authored several of the books in the library. And used others as reference material.

Looking for a way to help Orlais reconquer Ferelden Remille had taken an offer by the Architect to learn how to control Blight Magic. With that knowledge Remille created a dagger that could pierce the magic, destroying it and accelerating the Blight. He intended to protect himself an Orlais with the first and defeat his enemies with the second.

Sadly, with his death that knowledge was lost unless Remille documented it somewhere. Which betting on the man’s ego Duncan prayed it was.

He and Fiona had tried to find the Architect and have him work with the Grey Wardens, but it was the proverbial needle in a haystack to find one darkspawn in a horde. Wardens at Weishaupt didn’t believe it was possible. But he wasn’t ready to give up.

That was how he met Irving. He was the Senior Enchanter elected into the position when Bergen killed the other mage. Over the years Irving had pulled books for him to look at and see if he recognized anything. Fiona did the same at Orlais tower. He didn’t get here as often as he wanted and now that the blight was upon them it might be too late.

“Duncan. I see you settled in quite nicely. I did not ask if you wanted your traveling companion to have a room of his own because I didn’t think you had time to do research this trip. Will you be staying several days then? Was Rhiannon able to answer most of your questions?”

“I admit you did not exaggerate. I was pleasantly surprised to see a seventeen-year-old with that level of maturity. She expressed an interest in helping in the battle and suggested that she might not be able to leave. With the power and mastery of magic you say she commands; Rhiannon would be a boon for the Grey Wardens.”

Irving was grateful that Duncan could see his students promise. He had set into motion a set of events that would free her from the tower one way or the other. “Ah yes. If it were up to me, I would allow her to go with the other mages and you could see her skill for yourself. But I am afraid Greagoir is set in his opinion. He feels the Kings War needs no more mages. I think he doesn’t want mages to realize they don’t need the Tower. But fear not. I have set Rhiannon on a path that will allow her to travel with you. If you are willing to do what it takes to free her.”

Duncan stroked his beard contemplating what the First Enchanter was suggesting. Surely, he realized infuriating the Templars would benefit neither of them. “Are you suggesting conscription?”

“I would not presume to tell a Grey Warden how to recruit a mage who will face consequences for doing what she was told. It is of little importance to an old man who never leaves the tower.”

“You did not tell her to perform blood magic, did you? Because I don’t think even conscription would help her.”

Irving’s laugh stuck in his throat and came out half choked. “Blood magic is involved. But let’s not talk about it here. I will walk you back to your rooms and you can decide what you are going to do.”

Duncan sighed and placed the tome back on the shelf. The reference to the sickness magic didn’t have the same properties as the Blight. This trip was damned from the beginning. Why not add another cog into the mix. He was getting quite good at juggling.

The two men stood in the hallway just on the other side of the library speaking in low tones. To an on looker they might appear to be planning something nefarious. And maybe to a Templar it was.

“Irving in my opinion, magic is magic. Darkspawn have it and it is not governed the way we do. But to involve blood magic is just asking for trouble. That isn’t how your former apprentice became powerful is it?”

“Rhiannon a blood mage? Hardly. The Maker himself would have to beg her, and she would still refuse. No, the mage dabbling in blood magic is her friend. He was supposed to go through the Rite of Tranquility. But he and his Chantry lover have decided to run away before that can happen. They asked her to help.”

Duncan frowned in confusion. “Forgive me Irving but I am not seeing where this concerns the girl.”

“When she found out that Jowan was to be made tranquil, she came to me and asked me to put him through the Harrowing, so he didn’t have to have the rite performed. Since this was only known by myself and Greagoir I was surprised. Asking how Rhiannon knew of this she reluctantly told me that Jowan told her. She told me that he wants her help to steal his phylactery. And she came to me so he wouldn’t have to run. I convinced her to help them.”

“Do you think that is wise?”

Irving crossed his arms over his chest obstinately. “I had my reasons. I told her I wanted to make sure that the priest was caught too. But the reason I choose to handle it this way was, I want you to take her from the tower and make her a Grey Warden. And the only way you can conscript is if they commit a crime.”

Duncan threw back his head and laughed heartily. “You my friend make things so difficult on yourself with all of these intrigues. I could have conscripted her based on the allowance of one mage per circle and I have none from the Ferelden Circle.”

“Then you will take her? If she stays, she will become a shell of herself. Her friend Jowan will be dead or tranquil. And her only other friend Anders will undergo the Rite the moment they return him to the Tower. After seven escapes they will not give him another chance. Besides my fondness for the girl it will be a waste not to use someone with her gifts.”

“Even if she is as powerful as you say. She’s never been in battle. I am assuming never even been out of the Tower. The outside world is vastly different than spellcasting here in the Tower surrounded by teachers and Templars. With the Blight we are hardly in the position of taking in rescued…”

Irving didn’t let the Grey Warden finish and said, “She will serve the Wardens well. She has a will of iron and is sharp and cunning. Most importantly Rhiannon has a desire to be of use. In another lifetime, I would have trained her to be my replacement.”

Duncan nodded thoughtfully. “That does speak highly of her. But you know the life of a Grey Warden is exceedingly difficult. Going through the joining at her age means she won’t live to see fifty. Maybe even though this is a cage, she would be better off here.”

“No.”

Duncan could tell from the tone of voice and lack of any other response that he wasn’t changing his mind and the girl’s fate was already set. Maker help her. “Alright. I will not try to change your mind. When will she be ready?”

“An hour at most. She procured a rod of fire to break into the repository. With her skill maybe a little less. But we will have to time this right because I don’t want Greagoir to get the idea we are making the decision for him. I would image you have time to get some supplies, items she may need and get young Cousland up.”

“I take it with this trick we will not be welcomed afterword?”

“Not for a time. He will feel she escaped justice. But I will handle him. Please give this to her. I will not have a chance to do it later.” Irving said pulling a large book from the stack in his arms and handing it to the Grey Warden.

He took the book. It was deep red, leather bound with gold gilding on the pages. A fitting gift if looks were to be believed. “Where will this… where shall we stage this show?”

“Do you remember the entrance to the basement from the time you and I talked to the statue?”

“I do.”

“Meet us there. It is the entrance to where they are right now. And hope the Maker is on our side.”


	2. Calling the Bluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhiannon feeling guilty tells Jowan the real reason she helped. Jowan's true colors are revealed. And Rhiannon is conscripted.

Duncan bowed slightly to the old mage. He'd developed a fondness for the man with his many visits. He also realized that Irving was doing this to help him as much as he was doing it for the girl. Like always dealing with him he wondered if he had the whole story and if Rhiannon had done more than Irving led him to believe. Time would tell.

The room he and Aedan were assigned when they got in early this morning was drab with minimal candles. He wondered for the hundredth time why mages or templars for that matter needed things so dim. He spent enough time pushing back the darkness to revel in the light.

The young lord would be happy that they were once again on their way. Although he probably wouldn't be as happy with the companion they were about to liberate.

There on the bed sprawled out with no thought to the bedding was Aedan Cousland in his armor sleeping. He was glad one of them got some rest.

"Aedan."

Duncan waited a few moments and called again. Nothing. He walked over and slapped the young man's foot and called his name again. This time Aedan was roused and sat up groggily.

With the back of his hand he wiped the drool at the corner of his mouth and attempted to focus on Duncan.

"Aedan, it appears we have what we need. It is about time to go."

"We are finally going to Ostagar. Good. I want to find Fergus and let him know what Howe did to our family."

Duncan frowned. He'd told the boy that revenge would have to wait. His duty was to the Wardens and killing of the Darkspawn. There would be time for that after the Blight or at least this wave. "Clean up. And I will meet you on the main floor of the Tower at the Quartermaster. We need basic supplies for the rest of our journey."

"Wait Duncan, you just said its time to go. Why are we waiting an hour?"

Duncan groaned and shook his head. "I said that we have what we need. But it won't be ready for an hour. I am giving you the opportunity to bathe and get foodstuffs as it is at least another ten to fifteen days to Ostagar.

******

******

As I climbed the staircase to the alcove where the phylacteries were kept, a shiver racked my body. I didn't know if it was because I was about to turn in my friend or because I was truly cold.

With the ice and frost on the celling, walls and ground that would be the logical answer. But it would also mean I was jaded enough to help Templars punish a mage, one of my own.

I almost went to Knight Rutherford but after the stolen kiss this morning he probably wouldn't see me. I heartily wished Anders were here so I had someone I could talk to about this mess. Although to be honest, Anders didn't have a lot of time for Jowan's antics. He couldn't understand why Jowan and I were even still friends. And there were days between his whining and fixing his mistakes I wondered myself.

But for him to be a blood mage, that was absolute nonsense. He wasn't that stupid. He was right they must have noticed his secretive behavior with Lily and assumed the worst. That was as common as the sun rising. Although the thought he was stupid enough to get involved with an initiate kept nagging me.

When I went to Irving, I hadn't expected him to tell me to help. Did my teacher secretly want Jowan to escape? Because I didn't believe for a minute, he would be so vindictive as to blame it all on Lily, just to punish her.

It wasn't that I didn't want to help him escape. After all, I listened and offered suggestion when Anders came to me with escape plans. But something was bothering me about the way Jowan was doing this. He had left all the tasks to me. Including making me get his phylactery. It was as if he wanted me to be seen responsible for his escape. Or maybe my guilt at betraying him was making me see things that weren't there. Jowan had always been lazy.

"Jowan, I need to tell you something."

"Now? Were almost done."

"I know but you need to … I need to tell you before you finish trying to escape. I talked to Irving."

"You, you …" He spluttered.

"I went to him and asked him not to make you tranquil. But he already knew about you and Lily."

"How could you? I thought you were my friend. Now Lily's going to be in trouble. Even if you didn't care about our friendship, how could you do that to Lily?"

I scoff. How could he suggest I care about what happens to the chantry? "Jowan, please understand. I did it to protect you. I went to Irving hoping that if I told him what you were really doing, he would cancel the Rite of Tranquility. With all your sneaking around, they thought you a blood mage. This way you wouldn't have to escape."

Jowan glared balefully at his companion. How dare she ruin his perfect plan? He was tired of always being less important. Less powerful. And only tolerated because she was Irving's favorite. Uldred was right power was power. You just had to use it right.

He'd intended for her to appear to be the mastermind behind his escape. With Rhiannon's known association with Anders, they might blame her for his escapes too. Then it wouldn't matter how powerful she was. She would be tranquil, and he finally would have beaten her at something.

"Jowan, we must hurry. If the First Enchanter goes to Greagoir we might not be to get away."

Jowan pinned Rhiannon with a piercing glare and said, "Don't ever talk to me again. We are no longer friends."

"But."

"There is no time," Lily cried.

I shrugged; maybe it was just as well. They would escape and I would never see him again. Or the Templars would catch him like Anders, and he'd be made tranquil.

I silently followed behind them leaving the staff I had found in the repository leaning against the door we originally tried to enter the phylactery chamber.

I'd just gotten to the top of the stairs when I heard Lily cry out Jowan's name and exclaim, they were too late. I could hear the fear in her voice as she said the Knight Commander's name.

Apprehensively I looked around for the First Enchanter. Without Irving there to verify I was acting under orders from him, I would look as guilty as Lily and Jowan. I released the breath I was holding when I noticed my old teacher. A pained smile was all I was able to manage.

I cringed when Greagoir turned to me and said I was faulting the rules. He had done away with the whippings after Knight Capitan Byrnn was arrested and sent to Denerim but he'd just sentenced Jowan to death and Lily to Aeonar. A quick sigh of relief escaped when Irving vouched that I had been under his orders.

Lily cried out and Jowan reacted. I heard him vow that they weren't going to touch her and then he cut his palm. I watched in horror as what Irving told me about Jowan became true. My friend was a blood mage. The worst thing a mage could become even worse than an abomination in my opinion. Lily was horrified. I heard Jowan whine about dabbling and giving it up before; she banished him from her sight.

As he ran, I finally found my senses and knelt next to Irving checking to see if he was all right. I offered him help up. The Knight Commander already grumbling as Irving asked after his injuries. He put all the blame on the First Enchanter. And then he turned on Lily.

I was trying to be sympathetic when I said she didn't know about Jowan, but she was too angry with me and told me to save my breath. That's what I did until the Knight Commander turned on me. He accused me of stealing.

I knew better than that. I told them I barrowed a staff but left it at the door of the chamber. He huffed his disbelief. He then suggested that I should then face punishment for what he calls a mockery. I protest and Irving reiterates that I was doing as I was told. That answer didn't appease him. When he asked what he was to do with me a new voice interjected with an offer.

Duncan would assume responsibility for me, and I was to become a Grey Warden. One hand I was terrified I would never see the Tower or my fellow mages again. And on the other I was elated. I was running away legally and there was nothing the Templars could do about it.

Greagoir argued with both Duncan and Irving. But acting braver than I felt I said, "I'll go with the Grey Wardens if they will have me. At least there I may be able to do some good."

I thought I saw a smile or at least a tug at the corner of Duncan's mouth. The First Enchanter uncrossed his arms and patted me on the back telling me I had an opportunity few other had. To use it well.


	3. Goodbye Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greagior assigns Cullen to escort Rhiannon to get her stuff and get out. Cullen takes advantage to let her know how he feels. If it is only with a gift.

Greagoir was still glaring at me with enough force you would think him a mage summoning a typhon. It was difficult not to look at the floor guilty so when he barked Knight Rutherford's name I was startled and jumped slightly.

"Yes Commander."

"Cullen take the newest Grey Warden up to the stock room and requisition one travel pack and ten silver pieces. She may take any of her belongings that she can gather in ten minutes and fit into the pack. Then escort her back here. They will be leaving as soon as she returns. She is not allowed to speak to anyone. Is that clear? "

"Ten silver, Commander?" Cullen questioned.

Greagoir scoffed. "You heard me, Rutherford. I will not have it said that I let a mage starve. Ten minutes Knight Rutherford."

Cullen crossed his arms over his chest and bowed at the waist. "Yes Ser."

We wasted no time. Neither of us were crass enough to outright run in the Tower but he marched at a quick clip and I double timed it to keep up with him. We stopped in the apprentice quarters not sure if my belongings had been moved already.

They had.

"Do you know which alcove they were giving you?" Cullen asked frowning.

"Yes."

"Good go there, begin to pack your stuff. I have to take care of something in the library and I will get the pack on the way back."

"But."

"Please Ona."

I gasped at his use of my nickname. Only a few people were allowed the right. I had given him permission a year ago, but he had never used it before now.

As quickly as I could I walked to my new quarters and looked at them with a mix of misery and elation. I had finally gotten something that was mine and the Knight Commander was so angry he was throwing me out of the Tower in the middle of the night. And I wasn't going to get the opportunity to use it.

I had truly been looking forward to taking a bath in the privacy of my own rooms. In the apprentice's rooms it was eight girls to a bathing tub which made getting a chance to use it, a chance. I touched the metal surface and sighed. I was wasting time.

The Knight Commander had given me ten minutes and I was sure we'd already used five just getting up to the second floor and my new room. I wasn't as if I had a lot of stuff to pack. I opened the trunk placed alongside the bathing tub and pulled out the contents. Truthfully, nothing belonged to me personally except the small clothes. I neatly folded them and placed on the unmade bed along with the sleep shirt and extra robes.

When Cullen returned my alcove, he was out of breath and sweating. As he gasped for air, he handed me a leather pack with on strap that I assumed was to go across my body. I took the bag and carefully put my clothes.

When I turned back toward the Templar, he was holding a medium rectangular box out to me. I gasped in recognition.

"Did you go all the way to the Templar floor for that?"

"Yes."

I was confused. It was a gift from his family when he was assigned to the Tower. His father and brother had carved the pieces and the case that doubled as a board. His sisters shellacked the bard and pieces. And his mother sewed a velvet bag to put the pieces in as well as one to store the board in. "We don't have time for a game."

"No silly Mage. I wanted to give this to you."

"No. It was a gift from your family. It's important to you."

Cullen took a deep breath. He was never going to have this chance again. And while she was still a mage she was no longer under his care. "I want you to have it. I taught you chess with this set. You are very important to m…" Cullen lost his nerve to say what he wanted. "As a Grey Warden you are especially important to Ferelden... to Thedas. Teach the other Wardens to play it and think of me... I mean us. Here at the Tower."

I grinned he wasn't the most eloquent of men, but his heart was always in the right place. In fact, without him, I would never known there were good Templars out there. And most likely be dead at the hands of Byrnn.

I took the chest from him and put it in the bottom of my bag. "Thank you, Cullen. No one has ever given me anything before… I mean that didn't have a purpose. May I hug you?"

For a moment I could swear I saw terror in the warrior and then he looked right and then left and only nodded.

Cullen stiffly bent down so Rhiannon could wrap her arms around his neck pressing her full body against his. Only his Templar discipline kept his physical manifestation of desire under control. He had anticipated the way she would show her gratitude. And hoped for a repeat performance of this morning. This time he fully intended on participating.

The slightest of snickers under my breath as I put my arms around his neck and felt the pressure of his arms around my back and waist. As he turned his head away to get more comfortable in proximity, I took the opportunity and surprised him by pressing my lips to his.

For a moment he was so startled he stood there like a statue and then all at once one hand was pressed against the small of my back and the other one cupping my head, returning the kiss. I had kissed before, but it had never felt like this. And just as I was starting to enjoy it he pulled away and looked at me horrified.

He disentangled himself and ran out of my alcove. I don't think I had ever seen him run so fast. I am not even sure he enjoyed from the look on his face. Maybe he was just pitying me due to getting kicked out.

My time had to be up. It had to be more than ten minutes. I wondered if the Knight Commander would bring a column of troops to my room to escort us out. With a sigh I picked up the bag containing my clothes and my gift and realized I had nothing to contribute. The next mage would get this room and I would be a forgotten memory.

In the hall I found Cullen standing there in what I assumed was waiting for me. I would need to apologize. Not that it mattered as I was leaving but I didn't want him staying at the Tower beating himself up over the slip. "I am sorry Knight Rutherford. I took advantage of your kindness and replace it with vulgarity."

"No Ona. It wasn'… Don't appol.."

"Knight Rutherford do you not understand how to tell time. I said ten minutes. I am now looking at thirty. You are holding up their leaving." Greagior barked interrupting Cullen.

"But Ser, it's already the dinner hour. They are only leaving because…"

Cullen was silenced by the glare of his commanding officer before being dismissed. With no choice he bowed stiffly and walked away. I watched him leave wondering what he would have said.

Duncan cleared his throat to hide his amusement. "Come Rhiannon, your new life awaits."

He turned and strode away, and his sullen companion glared at me for good measure before turning to follow. I hesitated for a moment to follow him. Irving saw my struggle and gently prodded me into moving falling in step. He would walk me as far as the door and wish me a blessing for a happy life. I promised I would return for a visit when I could.

He told me he understood and not to worry too much about coming back just make sure I wrote regularly. I promised him I would waving I followed Duncan and the man out the large doors. For just a moment I stopped and looked around. This had been the first time I had been outside since I could remember.

Duncan called me for a second time allowing his amusement to show with a soft curling of the lips into a smile. "It's a long trip to Ostagar and more to see than your own front door."


	4. On Our Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhiannon's adventure begins right outside her front door. And the beginning of their travels bring the differences in their ideologies. A royal who has been taught magic is is evil and no place in society and a mage who's magic is as normal a part of her as hands and feet. Duncan just got promoted from Commander of the Grey to full time Peacemaker.

At the end of the dock Duncan stood talking to Bran as we waited for the boat. I looked curiously at the man traveling with Duncan. He seemed intent looking everywhere but me.

I had introduced myself. But he looked down his nose and said, “Great now we have a Mage. As if we don’t have enough to deal with.“

It stung and I swallowed hard. But I didn’t try to speak to him again.

Instead I looked up at the dusk sky. It was even better than Anders described it. There was something magnificent about the way the oranges and reds melded into the purples and blues. In the eastern sky one moon had already risen high in the sky, bathing the lake in a soft yellow glow. But the second moon having a reddish halo was just rising.

“Beautiful, isn’t it.”

I was startled by Duncan question. “Yes, a friend tried to describe it to me. But his words didn’t do it justice.”

Duncan chuckled. “I don’t think even the most gifted painter could do a Ferelden sunset justice.”

I was interested and asked, “Then it looks different in different places? You’ve seen it in other countries?”

“Yes. My favorite is in the Anderfels, on the mountains where the sky touches the earth. It is almost as spectacular. When we go to Weishaupt I’ll show you.”

I was moved by his warmth. He was treating me as if I was already a Grey Warden. Not a criminal he just rescued.

When the boat sild up to the dock Duncan motioned for me to board first. There was some trepidation to be sure. Then shock when Ser Bran offered me his hand and helped me into the boat. The boat rocked and I let out an undignified squeal.

“You’re all right. Just keep your weight in the center of the boat,” Kester spoke reassuringly.

The man traveling with Duncan stepped into the boat just as I took my seat. The boat rocked just as violently as is it did for me, but he didn’t seem concerned. Duncan’s steel boots made a clunking sound like the Templars when they walked the hallways when he entered the boat.

He chose the bench next to me to sit down. Seated he told Kester we could get under way.

I don’t know how long Kester paddled. I could still see the outline of the tower. But just barely. The small lanterned the boatman had tied to his bow only illuminated a small portion of the boat. I called mana an let it pool in my hand. Soon a small ball of fire bathed the boat and in a yellow orange glow and reflected off the water’s surface.

“What in the Maker’s beard are you doing?”

“Providing light to see by.”

“Stop it right now. No one gave you permission to use magic. The boatman knows these waters. He doesn’t want your help.”

“Permission!?” I scoffed.

“Magic is to serve man, never…”

Aedan” Duncan interjected.

“By the Fade, don’t you dare quote the Canticle of Transfigurations to me, you arrogant son of a cur. Duncan do I have to ask permission to use magic?”

Duncan gritted his teeth in weariness. He’d expected this to happen but figured they had at least a day before needing to play peacemaker. “No Rhiannon you do not have to ask permission to use your magic. As a Grey Warden you are expected to know when and how to use it."

“But, but” Aedan stammered. “A mage can’t just… we have to be careful. Magic is foul.”

“No magic is not foul. Magic is a tool. Just like a sword or a fork, or a smith’ hammer. It can be used to create damage but so can words. We don’t lock people up for saying stupid things.”

“Stupid things? You think warning about the dangers of magic is a stupid thing? Everyone knows mages are weak and corruptible. We are not even an hour away from the Tower and you are already calling on magic like some heathen apostate.”

Do you want me to turn the boat around sir?” Kester asked Duncan sympathetically.

Duncan shook his head no. “Aedan, Rhiannon is right. Not all magic users choose to use the gift the maker has given them irresponsibly. My Grey Warden mentor was a mage. And if it weren’t for her magic, we would have died a hundred times over. I know what the Chantry teaches but Andraste’s words are taken out of context. She was talking about slave owner’s who had magic. Not just magic users. You can’t fear magic.”

Aedan didn’t say another word he just sat in his seat and glowered at me. I wasn’t sure if the right thing to do was put out the fire so Aedan would feel more comfortable. Or leave it up since Duncan had championed me and I didn’t want him to think I was ungrateful.

I leaned over the side of the boat placing my hand near the surface of the water. When the fish broke the surface jumping into the boat I squealed in delight. I had never seen a live fish.

“Try that again Rhiannon. A few more and we will have dinner.” Duncan said good naturedly.

I did as he suggested. I allowed the flame to intensify and almost go out. When I brought the flame back up, we were rewarded with three more fish in quick succession. As they flopped around in the bottom of the boat Aedan did his best to keep them contained.

Kester took pity on him and handed him the bucket he kept his lunch in and remarked, “Well I guess in this case magic did serve man. At least dinner.”

Duncan was the first one to crack a smile. Followed by Aedan who laughed. Duncan and Kester couldn’t hold back the mirth. Finally unable to not to see some humor in the situation I joined as well, feeling a little like the butt of the joke.


	5. Lake Calenhad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan explains why Aedan is so prickly... well half the story anyways. Rhiannon meets Rabbit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the guest that left Kudos. My first for this story. Yay.

Their amusement was getting on my nerves. I knew they weren’t truly laughing at me, but it felt that way. It was likely because I was just thrown out of the only home I’d ever know. I was five when I came to the Tower and didn’t remember my life before that.

I had met Anders that day. Or at least that is what he told me later. They had returned him to the Tower for the fourth or fifth time. We sat waiting for the First Enchanter together. At least I wouldn’t be there when they made him tranquil.

And then there was Jowan. How could l not know he was a blood mage. Better question, how could he be so bad at regular magic and so powerful with the forbidden kind.

The way he treated me was as if we weren’t even friends. The more I thought about it the more I wondered if he included me so I would be held responsible for his escape. Which meant he was going to betray me before I did it to him. Was his goal to have me be made tranquil. If he was escaping, then he wasn’t all that worried about himself. Which didn’t make sense with the way he was going on and on about tranquility.

I stood expecting the boat to rock wildly like it did when I stepped down off the dock. But the long flat bottom must have distributed my weight enough that movement didn’t affect it. I moved carefully to the back of the ferry where I could see the outline of the tower.

“Don’t mind Aedan,” Duncan said coming up behind me. “He isn’t old enough for life to knock some of the arrogance out of him. And he has had a rough couple of weeks.”  
I only grunt noncommittedly.

“Rhiannon, you have to understand, the Chantry teaches mages …”

“I know the Chantry’s rhetoric. I’m a mage. I’ve been punished my whole life for something I didn’t ask for or even want when it showed up. They say they are afraid of us because we can become abominations, but they treat us as if we already are. There are hundreds of thousands of mages that never give into a demon or turn to blood magic. But when one does it’s ‘see I told you mages are evil.’ I thought, with what you said the Grey Wardens were more enlightened than that.”

Duncan sighed and looked over his shoulder at Aedan knowing the young man was listening. “We are. We have seen that there are worse things out there than blood mages, abominations and demons. There are former Templars and Mages who work together and even like and respect each other. But they had to learn a different way. And that doesn’t happen overnight.”

“Well obviously he didn’t learn.” I spat.

“That’s because he is only a recruit like you. He has no experience outside of his home castle. The Circle was his first time he saw a mage. So of course, the blood magic causing the damage it did only reinforced all the things his priest told him was true about magic. And on top of that he just watched his whole family slaughtered in an act of betrayal.”

I suddenly felt for him. To have your family killed was terrible but to have to watch it happen. And if I was honest with myself Jowan’s actions shook me. Which meant for someone taught mages were bad it would terrify them, and they might lash out.

“I am not suggesting that Aedan was right, but the person Irving described you to be was someone who could forgive and give second chances. Please, try because one day you might be dependent on him or him on you to work together and watch each other’s backs. He will come to see a practical side of magic, that I promise. He will judge you by the woman you are not the talent you have.”

I nod softly to let him know I will try. I also decide that if I can judge Templars by their individual actions, I should allow him the same chance. Duncan turned to leave when I ask him who the mage was that gave him a practical lesson in magic. He told me an elven mage named Fiona.

I continued to stand there for several minutes until I felt the ferry bump the side of the dock. My new life was about to start and for several moments it terrified me keeping me rooted to the boat.  
“Rhiannon, come. We have much to do before we can be on our way,” Duncan said when it didn’t look as if I had noticed we’d docked.

I accepted Kester’s hand for assistance to step up onto the dock. The boat lurched again but this time I was prepared and didn’t squeal. I walked down the dock following Duncan and looking around for the man he called Aedan.

“He will be back. Come. We didn’t get a chance to eat. You can help me get the fish ready.” Duncan said noticing my attention.

“All right. But I am not sure what I can do to help.”

“We need to clean and cook the fish.”

I just stared at Duncan. I had eaten plenty of fish. It was staple living on an island in the middle of the lake. But tonight, was the first time I had seen a whole live fish.  
“You have no idea what I am talking about, do you?”

I frowned and shook my head. “I am sorry. I mean I understand the concept, but I was not one of those who were allowed in the kitchens. Only the tranquil were allow weapons. Knifes were considered weapons.”

Duncan snorted.

“But I can learn. If you want to teach me.”

“Not tonight, Rhiannon. But I promise before we get to Redcliff, I will have taught you, how to catch, clean and cook a fish. Why don’t you take this pack over there by the fire and go through the contents and get familiar with them.”

I did as I was told. I had been sitting there on the bench long enough for Duncan to have cleaned the fish and put it over the fire to cook. I had become entranced by the healing tome Irving had given to me. I had read the letter he included twice. He’d set up the situation with me help Jowan so I would be conscripted by Duncan.

I was startled out of my reading by a barking. I looked up and saw a black beast bearing down on me. He was the size of a small horse. I jumped to my feet in fear. “Of Fade, what are you?”

“That’s my Mabari, Rabbit. You do know about Mabari, right?”

“Of course, I know what a Mabari is. I am Ferelden after all. I read all about them. The looked smaller in the book.”

Aedan narrowed his eyes wondering if she was insulting him. But he noticed how Rabbit was prancing around her happily. And the fact she looked utterly amazed. “Have you never seen one in real life?”  
I shook my head and held out the back of my hand for him to smell. “We were not permitted anything but cats and those only because they hunted mice.”

“Then let me introduce you. Rabbit this is Rhiannon, the mage. She is going to be a Grey Warden like us. Rhiannon, this is Rabbit. He is as tall as a dwarf and just as wide. And when he gets excited, he forgets to walk or run and just jumps around like a rabbit.”

“Hello Rabbit,” I said breathlessly.

Rabbit barked back and shocked I looked at Aedan. “Did he understand me?”

Aedan grinned responding to my joy and nodded his head. “You can talk to him and he will respond. It might take you some time to understand his growls and barks. Until you do, I can translate. I’ve had him since he was born. My father’s bitch Samme whelped him three summers ago.”

“He’s…you’re beautiful. And your ears, they are so soft.” I tentatively patted his head.


	6. An Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan gets an idea how to help both Aedan and Rhiannon.

_9:29_ **Dragon** _26_ **Harring** – 60 miles Northeast of Lothering

Duncan looked away as the young Cousland sliced into the flesh of the boar the two of them hunted for the evening meal. He wasn’t squeamish. Maker knew he’d been hungry enough in his younger days not to look down on hunting.

But growing up on the streets of Val Royeaux the food if it wasn’t rat it was usually dead and skinned before it made it into the city. In that their neighbor was more sophisticated than Ferelden. And once he became a Warden in both Orlais and Ferelden there were cooks to handle the messy part of the meals.

In that, he was more like the mage than the noble.

Duncan didn’t miss the look of hopelessness on Rhiannon’s face when he left her with instructions on helping to set up camp. As much as she tried, Rhiannon just wasn’t becoming as self-sufficient as quickly as either she or Aedan wanted. The young lord’s impatience and biting remarks were becoming irritating for both Rhiannon and himself.

He tried to reassure her there was a learning curve every Warden went through. But he figured she wouldn’t believe him until she talked to a few other mage wardens and they exchanged stories. That was if they could get to Ostagar before the King took them to battle.

He understood why she had no stamina, but it was seriously hurting their travel time. Which was another thing irritating Aedan. He was so intent on getting revenge Duncan wondered what kind of Warden he would be. It might be something he would need to address if Aedan survived the joining.

It was then the idea of pairing them with Alistair the way Genevieve paired him and Riordan with Fiona. Alistair would smooth over Aedan’s rough edges and bring out Rhiannon’s self-confidence. And Alistair being a former Templar would alleviate some of Aedan’s magic fears.

“Duncan?” Aedan called for the third time.

Duncan turned to focus on the twenty-year-old. “I am sorry Aedan. My mind was elsewhere. What did you say?”

Aedan chuckled thinking he knew where the older man’s head was. “Trying to figure a way to carry Rhiannon so we don’t have to make so many rest breaks?”

Duncan sighed, “Aedan. We talked about this. Rhiannon is trying. She has never had an opportunity to walk or travel anywhere. It takes time to build stamina. And the proper attire, mage robes and cloth slippers only hinder not help. She has not had the freedoms you’ve had. She will improve. Many successful Wardens started out in similar positions.”

"Similar positions? What as a mage who’s only talent is to help blood mages escape going to do to help the Wardens? She wasn’t even successful enough to escape on her own.”

“She wasn’t trying to leave, Aedan. She was following the First Enchanters orders.”

“The First Enchanter wanted the mages to escape?” Aedan asked shocked.

Duncan sighed and wondered if Aedan was being deliberately obtuse or was there truly a more genuine fear. “No. There are politics that neither you or I would understand, nor is it our place. But accept there was a reason she was involved and leave it at that. Rhiannon was the reason we went to the tower.”

Aedan could feel the blood throbbing in his temples. He was angry. “Wait. We went to the Tower to get a mage?"

“We went to the Tower to get several mages. The King was allowing me a greater commitment from the Circle. The Darkspawn have magic and we need to counter it with magic of our own.”

“That’s what we have Templars for. Duncan you can’t trust them. I know you think the Tower was the first time with mages, but Howe brought several along to destroy my family. Mages are evil or at least have the tendency to be evil. I will not be thralled before we get to Ostagar.”

Duncan could have reacted. He could have told the young lord that his fears were groundless. He’d spent enough time with both to know what kind of people they were. She was no more a blood mage than Aedan was a criminal. But that wouldn’t help the man who watched as mages helped kill his family.

“You were trying to get my attention for something. What did you need?”

Aedan sighed. He knew his warnings were falling on deaf ears. There were days, especially the last several he wished he’d taken his chances with Howe’s men and not agreed to be a Grey Warden. Without Duncan and all his pet mage’s stops he would have been to Ostagar with Fergus by now.

And if that wasn’t irritating enough the mage had to be handheld on everyday tasks. He wasn’t sure what she was even good for. She couldn’t hunt, prep the animal for cooking, or even cook. How hard was it to cook? You put the meal over the fire and watched it, so it didn’t burn. What was he saying, the only way she could make a fire was with magic.

He just walked away shaking his head when she put up her tent and it collapsed on top of her. Even Oren his six-year-old nephew could put up a tent. Or he could before Howe’s men slaughtered him. And all Duncan could do after she cried herself to sleep was fix the tent for her.

As he watched Rabbit gobble up the last of the entrails and organs of the boar he frowned and said, “How long are we planning on staying in Redcliffe?”

“We’re not. I am. You and Rhiannon are going to continue to travel on the road to Ostagar. I will take care of business with the Arl and catch up to you.”

“Andraste’s Arse, finally. Wait you are sticking me with the mage?”

“Yes, and I will trust you to take care of her as benefits your family responsibility. If you do not think you can do that then we will all go to Redcliffe despite the delay that will take in our travels.”


	7. The Road to Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aedan and Rhiannon travel the Imperial Highway alone together and attempt to work on their differences. Can they come together when the battle is for real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the guest & 53K5HUN_8 who left Kudos they keep me motivated.

_9:29_ **Dragon,** _31_ **Harring** —75 miles North of Ostagar

Both moons were lying low on the horizon when the driver of the cart pulled on the reins and stopped the vehicle. This was as far south on the Imperial Highway as the farmer was going and we were back to walking. Hitching a ride this morning we had made up in several hours what would have taken us two days.

I climbed down out of the cart by sitting on my butt and sliding out until the tips of my toes touched the ground. There were days I disliked being short. Not that five feet and three inches was short. Just not tall enough to be practical. Aedan having at least eight inches on me had no problems stepping down out of the cart.

It was our fifth day without a chaperone or peacekeeper depending on who you asked. In that time, we only squabbled twice, and I counted that whole first day as one time. Because when the fighting started it never stopped, just paused for an hour and restarted.

Honestly, I wondered if Duncan had left us alone together thinking one of us would kill the other and he would get the stronger of the two. But then there were moments when Aedan tried to act like a person, I understood the Grey Warden’s decision.

Right now, we were in a period of peace, which was probably contributed to by the fact we didn’t speak to each other for almost a full day. Aedan had stopped with the sarcasm and biting remarks, but still glowered and muttered under his breath.

Rabbit stretched and woofed happily. The hound like me probably spent most of the trip sleeping. I was exhausted. My back and legs hurt. The blisters on my feet were angry and weeping making my slippers stiff and uncomfortable. I had broken down and used one of the healing balms grumbling an agreement to Aedan comment about being weak.

“I am hungry. I’ll leave Rabbit here with you as protection and see what I can hunt for us to eat.”

“I can make wards for protection.”

“Are you saying I’m not warrior enough to defend you? That I need more protection than you do? Are you calling me a coward?”

“No, I am calling you stupid. What’s wrong with having an extra defense? Warriors use shields in battle too. Its tactics versus going off half-cocked.”

“Half-cocked?” Aedan seethed his voice dropping low and menacing.

“Fade take you. That’s what I said. We are two people… and Rabbit. It is not ridiculous or cowardly to put extra protections in place. In chess we call it Covering the King.”

“This isn’t a silly board game. And the fact that you’re comparing our situation to a game shows why I should be the leader.”

I scoffed. He had spent the whole first day telling me how he was the son of a Teyrn and how it was his responsibility to take care of the people. And I was someone he was responsible for. We argued. Because I couldn’t leave well enough alone. And because we rubbed each other the wrong way and neither of us would look at the situation from the other's perspective. In fact, I probably baited him as much as he did me.

“What happened to ‘I’m a Cousland. I’m supposed to be responsible for you. So, I should be the leader.”

“I am a Cousland. And I have a responsibility, to you and Ferelden. And that’s why Duncan put me in charge. Besides, I am the oldest. You are what, fifteen?”

I spluttered angrily, “I’ll be eighteen in two months.”

“I am twenty now. I have fighting, tracking and leadership experience. And I can walk faster than a mile an hour. Or have to take a break every two hours.”

We were arguing again and not quietly. We probably could be heard for a country mile. But for the moment that didn’t matter to either of us. I wasn’t backing down. I was tired of his attitude and treatment. Not that I was treating him with any respect. “Can you tell when we about to be attacked by an animal?”

“No.”

“I can. It’s a magical talent nicknamed survival. And I have battle experience too. I took on a whole cavern of spiders by myself. And each spider was larger than your Rabbit. Yes, I get tired and need to take a break faster than you do. But I am not worthless. We’re supposed to be a team not you or me in charge.”

Rabbit had barked. Loud enough I practically had to scream the last sentence. I assumed he was barking to tell us he didn’t appreciate the fighting. I told him to shut up. Which aggravated Aedan who told me I couldn’t hush his hound. Then he turned on the Mabari and told him to shut up. I almost laughed.

But I felt something nagging at the back my mind. It reminded me of the cavern with the spiders. I opened my mouth to warn Aedan when the arrow embedded into my travel bag. “Aedan.”  
“Survival, huh?” Aedan ribbed me.

I shrugged. That’s what I got for boasting. Any reply I would have made stuck in my throat as I got a look at the horror that came into view a hundred yards off the highway. I swallowed hard. These were worse than any abominations I had seen in pictures.

“Maker’s Breath,” Aedan uttered. He put his hands to his back and pulled his blades.

I could just hear the scrape of metal against the hardened leather over my heart thudding in my ears. “What in the fade are those?”

“Darkspawn.”

I glanced at him and closed my eyes for a moment. How was it possible? We weren’t at Ostagar, yet. More importantly, Duncan the Grey Warden wasn’t here to fight them. That left only Aedan and me. We were only two. There was no way without Duncan we were getting to Ostagar.

“No, wait.” I said when Aedan tensed to charge them. “We should stay together. I’ve seen how good you are with a bow and my spells are better at a distance.”

Two more arrows landed near us, one would have hit Rabbit if the dog hadn’t lunged out of the way.

“Ranged fighting is an opening volley not an entire battle. We can’t kill these things with bow and arrows.”

“I know Aedan. But the goal is to weaken them so we can pick them off.”

“Weakening them will not help if we don’t kill them.”

He wasn’t understanding. Magic was something used long or medium ranged. My passive skills that would protect us were fine short range. But to battle I needed to fight now, and I needed him to protect me. “I understand. But my magic isn’t something I can fight hand to hand with.”

“So, this is about me staying here and protecting you?”

I groaned with all our fighting he would have that thought. “No, it’s about tactics. If you go out there to fight them, then they will mob, you and kill you before moving on to me. Plus, if you are out in the middle of the fray there is a greater chance, I will hit you with my magic.”

“We could stagger. Look if we wait any longer, they will be on top of us.”

“Fine.”

“Rabbit attack.”

“Wait, Rabbit?”

“He is a war dog. He will be fine.”

“At least let me give him protection. He should have armor.”

I closed my eyes and summoned mana. Under my breath I said the words that pulled earth from the ground encasing the Mabari in a rock like formation. At first all Rabbit could do was shake. He disliked the encasement. He growled.

“All right” I said letting the mana go and the rock armor fell away from the dog. He bounded off happily into the fray.

“Could I fight in that?”

“Yes.”

“Then cast your spell mage. We might just win this.”

I grinned at his attempt to humor me. And while I knew for a minute, he didn’t believe that we would survive or that my spell would help. He was trying. This time I concentrated on the man. Suddenly the earth flew up to surround him. When the spell finished, he looked like a walking pile of boulders.

Aedan swung his swords experimentally and grinned when there was no loss of maneuverability. I heard Rabbit yelp and turned toward the battle berating myself for loosing focus. As Aedan was running toward the battle, I sent two balls of fire in rapid secession.

I couldn’t tell you how long the battle went on. But my mana was falling fast. Keeping Aedan’s rock armor and my fade shield sustained was draining me. I had already used two lyrium potions and would need a third. I swallowed the vial contents and sighed as it replenished most of my mana.

There were three more of the hideous monsters left. And saw the Darkspawn blade as it cut into the side of Rabbit. The hound yelped and dodged a second attack. I did two things. I bathed Aedan’s blade in fire and cast the spell for Winter's Breath at the offending Darkspawn.

Aedan shoved both of his burning blade into the chest of the tall Darkspawn with an expletive I couldn’t quite make out. When he pulled them out of the body, he examined the still flaming weapons. We were down to one Darkspawn.

Between Rabbit and Aedan, the battle lasted only a few moments more. When the last body fell to the ground, I rushed to where my companions were standing. They would need healing and I had the potions.


	8. The Battle Fought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adean and Rhiannon survey the aftermath of their first time fighting Darkspawn. And Rhiannon gets a better understanding of why Aedan is mistrustful of magic.

The moons had risen fully over the field by the time the battle was over. The two moons had risen but with being a new moon and the other a waning crescent it was dark. Aedan’s blades created a glowing arch as he swung them from side to side. His actions reminded me to let go of the passive spells. The rock armor fell away, and the blades were no longer bathed in red flames.

“That was something else.” Aedan said turning to me. “The fire sword? Your doing?”

I nodded.

“You know you could have warned me.”

I turned on him from looking at the bodies on the ground intending to give him a tongue lashing when I noticed the grin. My face must have shown what I was about to do because his shoulders were shaking with laughter.

I twitched my nose and tried not to laugh myself. In that minute his teasing felt good. He was telling me at least for the battle he saw me as his equal. I responded in kind. “Well, I didn’t think it wise to give our friends here the tactical advantage.”

He chuckled, “Well they would have had plenty of tactical advantage if I had dropped them in shock. It’s not every day your blades spontaneously catch fire.”

“Continue traveling with me and they will. I can also cover them in frost. It is an easy offensive enchantment,” I said as I refocused my attention to the bodies of our attackers.

My curiosity had me squatting down next to one that looked human size and shape. His height and build was the last human thing about him. His head looked skinned down to the bone and then replaced with uncured leather. Even with all the books in the Tower I had never seen a creature before with a mouthful of such vicious teeth. His scorched chest left me unsure if the flames or the cut from neck to navel caused his death.

I stood shaken slightly by the gore and had to look away and swallow several times not to vomit right then. I only glanced at the other bodies noting that there were differences in size and shape.

“Here, you look green,” Aedan said shoving a flask at me.

I took the container and wiped the mouthpiece despite Aedan’s shoulders shaking with laughter. I tipped the container, so the liquid flowed into my mouth and fought not to spew it and the contents of my stomach.

“Swallow. It only burns for a minute.”

He lied. I had already swallowed as an unintended reaction to needing to breathe. I choked unable to breathe. If felt as if I had swallowed liquid fire.

“Don’t tell me mages have never drank alcohol?”

Through the coughing I said, “the typical cup of wine with most meals. Some mead at celebrations. A drunk mage could cause an accident or that is what the Templars say.”

I hand him back the flask of liquid. And shake my head no with a grimace when he suggests another swallow. Aedan tilts his head in acceptance and toasts the air before taking a pull off the flask.

Rabbit is chewing on something Aedan called a crunch. He said it was for the Mabari what an injury kit is for us. That reminded me I had come over intending to give him healing balm.

“Not to be an arse but I had expected little help in the battle. But you held your own and killed several of them.”

I scoffed. “All right then. Not sure you succeeded trying not to be an arse. But thank you for the compliment. The First Enchanter was an outstanding teacher.”

“The Templars allow you to learn battle magic?”

“Yes and no. It’s complicated. They allow us to know the basics. Often mages may travel as part of special parties. Or assigned to work with a Bann for a special reason. Like King Cailan’s battle at Ostagar. Many of the Senior Enchanters get to travel from the Tower for many reasons. Sometime with a Templar escort other times without. I just depends on the Enchanter.”

Aedan told me he understood, but I doubted because of our first encounter. Yet I knew no better way of explaining it.

“Could a Mage control someone's mind enough to order them to kill?”

“Your family?”

“Yes.”

“One person, maybe two but not an entire family. And especially, not an entire household. To do that, the mage would have to be an abomination. And you and the Templars could tell if the mage has become an abomination.”

“So, Howe wasn’t thralled into killing my family, our men and our servants.”

Sadly, I shook my head no. It explained a lot of the hostility Aedan showed me. He thought Mages were behind the betrayal. “I am afraid the person who killed your family did it for his own reasons.”

“Then the mages that took part…?”

I shrugged, “He probably offered them their freedom from the Tower. Or maybe he found someone with magical abilities that mirror him in personality and desires. Mages are just like regular people some with honor and those without it.”

I pretended not to hear the strangled question of why that Aedan choked out. I didn't have an answer, and I figured it was a rhetorical question.

“I know you were hungry, but I don’t feel like making camp near the bodies. I have some hardtack and dried meat in my pack. I slept most of the day. Why don’t we walk for a while before stopping for the night. The longer we go tonight the closer to Ostagar we get. And you can find your brother.”

The grief was evident on Aedan’s face as he tried to muster a smile. “Thank you. But I think it's a little dark to be traveling any distance.”

“I would agree if you weren’t traveling with a mage. I can summon enough light for us to travel without walking into traps or other dangers. We could add another five to six miles tonight.”

I was already calling on my mana and saying the spell for my wisps. I placed two just above each of our heads and placed two more out about ten feet in front of us to light the way. I happily watched as Rabbit bounded around us trying to catch the wisps as we continued on the path to Ostagar. I wondered if Aedan and I could keep the newfound peace until we got to the camp and was this what Duncan planned for us when he disappeared for the last five days.


	9. 9.30 Dragon A New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aedan and Rhiannon have come to and peacable understanding. Duncan catches up to them before they get to Ostagar. The holdiay hits Aedan pretty hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the two guest leaving Kudos on the story. They keep me posting regularly.

9.30 **Dragon,** _1 **Wintermarch** 9 Miles North of Ostagar_

We would get into the King’s camp tomorrow, which would help Aedan’s mood considerably. When Duncan said, we were stopping for the night I thought Aedan would do something desperate. Even as frustrated as he’d gotten with me, I had never seen him come as close as trading blows with Duncan as he did tonight.

I understood how much Aedan wanted to get to Ostagar and meet up with Fergus. It was all he talked about while we traveled alone. And the main reason my snail’s pace as he called, it still irritated him.

Duncan understood too. But he was looking out for more than Aedan’s need for revenge. And that just increased my guilt. If I could have walked faster or needed less rest, it wouldn’t have taken us this long to reach the battlefield.

As it was, I was exhausted again. I tried to keep the pace Aedan walked and not take any breaks. I only succeeded on one of the two fronts. Two days ago, Duncan had caught up with us. And then continued walking right past us.

We had set up camp right there on the Imperial Highway. It wasn’t practical. But nine days in total traveling without Duncan made us wonder if we had missed him and he was waiting at the Kings Camp for us to catch up. The thought of that was humiliating to both of us.

As had become our habit Aedan, and Rabbit hunted for us. He had taught me the basics of how to hunt but I was too noisy. According to him I ‘tromped’ along thrashing around and scarring away the animals.

There was no way I was as loud as he said but after the Darkspawn battle Aedan and I attained a level of understanding that lead to a semi peaceful journey. I didn’t want to argue.

I stayed behind and tried my best to set up camp. While Aedan was gone, I didn’t bother with the flint fire starter. I was a mage and fire was readily available to me with a spell, there was no reason not to use it. Besides what he didn’t know would not hurt him.

With his instruction I had learned how to keep the fire going or at least not smother it constantly. I was even getting the hang of cooking. Not that Aedan agreed with that assessment.

The tent construction still baffled me. It didn’t matter how securely I tied the poles together the moment I placed the hides across the structure, the poles would fall, the frame would lean, or the hides would sag. There were always holes letting in the cold winter elements.

Never able to get in out of the elements completely, left me always cold. I had used up my entire stock of Lesser Ice Salves from the travel pack Cullen had given me. I wondered if the Tome I had would tell me how to make them myself or if I would ever get warm again.

Duncan had come upon us as we were beginning our meal. When he came into view Aedan hailed him. Duncan looked around as if he was searching for us. Not seeing us and feeling as if he should keep moving away from our camp, he told Aedan, and I he thought he imagined us.

Aedan thought Duncan was just fatigued, but I knew better. I had taken to placing wards around our campsite without telling my companion. Magic unnerved him so I tried to minimize its use when he was around.

One I had a fear something would attack as we slept. Which Aedan laughed at me and remarked that Rabbit would never let that happen. And second, I wanted practice. It kept out intruders with unsavory ideas and wild creatures looking for an easy meal.

Once we brought Duncan into the campsite and he realized us he applauded my skill. Even Aedan was both surprised and impressed. He was learning the value of having a mage in the party.

Which brings us to tonight. Maybe some of Aedan’s ill temper was because we today was the first holiday since his family dying and the beginning of a new year. He wanted to be with his brother today. So when Duncan gave him the gift he’d picked up in Redcliffe Aedan didn’t see the value.

My gift was a little different. He didn’t buy it. He’d had it for several years. Duncan told me the story of coming to the Tower eleven years ago. He was eighteen then just like me. He was on a mission with several Grey Wardens and King Maric. Bored and still reverting to some of his habits prior to being conscripted he found a dagger in the First Enchanter’s drawers. Something told him to take it. So, he did. It seemed to be made of the same material the broaches the First Enchanter had given them to keep the Darkspawn from sensing them.

But he found out that the trinkets accelerated the blight in Wardens as part of a plan created by a Darkspawn called the Architect. But the dagger destroyed the blight magic. The First Enchanter died before he could give up the secret of how the dagger worked. He was giving it to me to take up the cause. He felt it belonged to a mage and a mage could figure it out.

When I tried to give it back to him, he said to keep it until I unraveled it’s secret and then I could return it. I took the gift and told him thank you. I had my first weapon.

Aedan didn’t come back for a long time. I was almost afraid that he had left us behind and traveled to the King’s Camp without us. But Duncan was sure he had not. Two hours later Aedan came into camp with four skinned rabbits and a smeared tear face. I said nothing pretending not to notice.

We ate the meal in silence. I found myself unable to eat as I was too excited. I choked down half of the animal and tossed the leftovers to the hound who was too polite to ask for tidbits.

Sleeping would be no easier. I tossed and turned, even with Duncan helping me set up the tent where I was warmer. With the way the night was going I wished I had sided with Aedan and said we should have traveled to the camp that night.

When we rose and broke camp in the morning, the sun was just appearing over the horizon. Still no one spoke. If I wasn’t in my own little world, I would have said it was eerie.

Five hours later around midday we stood outside of the Kings Camp on the Imperial Highway being greeted by the King himself.


	10. Meeting the King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have finally gotten to Ostagar. Aedan gets a royal promise. The two find out about the joining.

“Ho there Duncan.”

“King Cailan,” Duncan said grasping the blond man in gold armor forearm in greeting. “I didn’t expect a..”

Duncan was cut off mid-sentence. “A royal welcome? I was beginning to worry you’d miss all the fun. But one of my soldiers saw you on the road.”

“Not if I could help it your Majesty.”

“Good then I will have the mighty Duncan at my side after all. Glorious.” Cailan said falling in step with Duncan.

Aedan and I just looked at each other not sure what to make of our monarch blatant hero worship of the Grey Warden commander. There was a familiarity in his tone that said they had a less formal relationship than King and subject.

As I thought about it for a moment, I realized that while Duncan was considered the leader of the Grey Wardens according to Aedan, he never acted as if he was. Other than setting the pace and keeping the peace between Aedan and me.

While I was contemplating this the King had made his way to Aedan for introductions.

“You are Bryce’s youngest are you not? I don’t think we’ve actually met.”

I watched as Aedan stiffened at his father’s name but kept composure enough to give a civil greeting.”

The king told him that Fergus had already arrived with the men of Highover, but they were still awaiting his father. I watched as Aedan’s face clouded in anger and frustration. I was surprised his words were still civil while his tone was anything but when he told the King Bryce was dead.

The King paced away distraught at the horrifying news and asked Duncan to confirm it.

“Arl Howe has shown himself a traitor and overtaken Highover Castle. Had we not escaped he would have killed us and told you any story he wished.”

I heard Aedan scoff when the King had trouble find both the words to describe his disbelief and how he thought Arl Howe thought he would get away with his crime. But there was no quivering or doubt when he made Aedan the promise of going North with his army and bringing Howe to justice.

To say I was impressed was an understatement. I glanced at Aedan to see what he thought and noticed the look of determination stiffen his spine making him stand taller. He asked, “What kind of justice?”

I sucked in air surprised at him questioning the King like that. But it must have been something in the warrior code because the King didn’t react and promised that Howe would hang. He offers small condolences in that it wouldn’t bring Aedan’s family back.

I couldn’t help but to think of how great of a king we had.

Aedan lost his smile when the King told him that Fergus was scouting in the wilds with his men and would not be back until after the battle. When Aedan opened his mouth to protest Duncan laid a hand on his shoulder and said, “the battle will be over soon, and you will be reunited. Until then we have other matters that we must see about.”

I could tell Aedan didn’t like that but accepted it.

Cailan turned his attention to me and then back to Duncan. “Is this all the Tower could spare as a greater commitment?”

“No, your Majesty, this is Rhiannon Amell. She is also to be a Grey Warden. We have very few of them in our ranks.”

“Hello Rhiannon. The Grey Wardens are desperate to bolster their numbers. I am glad to be able to help them. I trust you have several spells to help us in the coming battle?”

I had never spoken to anyone so important, so it was difficult to find my tongue. But his easy-going manner and lack of formality allowed me to blush through a bumbling answer of being just out of my apprenticeship.

He waved off my nerves with a quick remark of being more than capable.

I heard what was suspiciously like a snort from Aedan but when I jerked my eyes away from the king, I found the noble looking innocently off into the distance. I was still watching Aedan with narrowed eyes when Cailan mentioned having to get back to Loghain. My jaw dropped when he said the regent couldn’t wait to bore him with the details of strategy in the same sentence.

I was only half listening as Cailan tried to convince Duncan that this wasn’t really a blight. I was still trying to figure out if the King was being serious when he spoke about his Regent. It was slightly concerning when the King used bore me and strategy details.

Aedan was the first to speak. “That was the King of Ferelden? He doesn’t seem to think the Horde is a problem. Maybe he’s right and this is just a large raiding party.”

Duncan frowned and watched the King walk away before turning to us. “The King is right. They have won several battles against the Darkspawn here.”

I could tell by his tone of voice there was something he wasn’t telling us. And Aedan’s desire for revenge was keeping him from noticing. “You don’t sound reassured.”

Duncan motioned us to keep moving while he explained that while we had successful battles the Horde kept growing daily. And now outnumbered the army the King assembled. He explained that he knew there was an Archdemon behind all of it, but he couldn’t ask King Cailan to take his word for it.

Aedan chortled and responded why not since he held the Wardens in high regard. He said only a fool would have their hero tell them of danger and tell your hero he didn’t know what he was talking about.

Duncan chastised him and said we must not speak of the King that way. He was just over eager to be serving Ferelden. He was one of the few Grey Warden allies. And then he started speaking about a joining ritual and my heart dropped to my stomach. Magic was full of rituals and a good deal of them weren’t pleasant.

“I was hoping for a bath and a hot meal.”

Duncan chuckled and said, “I agree. We have until nightfall to begin the ritual and the preparations.”

Aedan interested in the joining started asking questions about it and found himself frustrated when Duncan said it was there was a danger to it but he could say no more. Both Aedan and I were surprised when we found out there were two recruits waiting for us.

He gave us permission to explore the camp as we wished but asked us not to leave it. When we were done, we were to seek out another Grey Warden by the name of Alistair.

I stood there, shoulder to shoulder with Aedan and we watched Duncan walk off toward the bridge. We waited until we could be sure the older Grey Warden was out of earshot and began to talk among ourselves. Aedan started.

“What happened? Cat have your tongue. The King asked a question and you couldn’t talk? Let me guess from the way you were blushing you were too busy thinking about how handsome he was?”

I could see the grin and his body language said he was teasing but I wanted to thump him. Yes, the King was good looking, but it was his friendly manner that intrigued me. I would have thought he would be stuffier and more rigid than that. “No. I was thinking what an amazing man…king to take his entire army north to make sure you got vengeance. Now you and Fergus don’t have to fight alone.”

Aedan was speechless for several minutes. “Agreed. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him a fool.”

“Maybe,” I agreed.

He shrugged. “You find that bath. I will see what I can do to find some men on the field from Highover.”  
“But.. but Duncan said to stay in camp.”

“Yeah? Do you do everything your told?”

As I watched Aedan walk away, I realized I did. I hadn’t even thought to question Duncan nor would I have ever thought about leaving the camp because he asked me not to. I wondered how long I would continue being obedient without a thought to why I was obeying. But it was a simple request and there would be plenty for me to see in the camp. I did not need to venture outside. I set off down the road behind Duncan who was on the other side of the bridge by now and Aedan and Rabbit.


	11. Joining the Grey Warden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhiannon wanders camp and begins the tasks that will make her a good warden. She runs into someone she thinks she knows but doesn't know how.

I walked the bridge over the large chasm in the same direction the King, Duncan and Aedan went. Looking over the side of the bridge, I held my breath in wonder. For as far as I can see there were hundreds of men below milling about. And beyond that a massive forest.

I reviled in my newfound freedom. I no longer had a schedule I was required to meet or rearrange my needs because something else took precedence. I wasn’t required to find Templars to escort or supervise me. Most importantly, I didn’t need to ask permission. I wasn’t in a hurry to cross as Duncan said I had the rest of the day to find the other Grey Warden.

It made sense for Duncan to hand us off to another member of the order with him being the leader. If he were like Irving, many of the things for him to oversee would have been left undone while he was gone. But I wished he had not. His patience and willingness to help was a balm for my battered ego and I was afraid I was going to get another Aedan.

Another reason worry was beginning to find a place in my stomach was the mention of a ritual. Duncan had tried to assure Aedan that there was only a small amount of danger around the joining, but I think what he meant was the ritual itself was dangerous. Rituals that required the dark of night or power of the moon often borrowed elements from blood magic. Which meant some form of death.

I wondered if I had traveled all this way just to die. It was possible. The battle with the Darkspawn before we got to Ostagar proved that. I realized that focusing on my death wouldn’t help me. I would just become more fearful.

And fearing everything would cause me to lose my concentration. Which in spellcasting could maim and kill. It made me realize that I had little choice about dying. All I could try to do was not whine and make excuses like Jowan.

I passed many people wandering back and forth across the bridge most of them in a hurry to do something. Yet as I got to the other side, I found out the chantry lied me my entire life. Not everyone hated mages or was afraid of them. Or it was everyone already knew me as a Grey Warden recruit and treated me with respect.

The solider stationed at the entry to the fortress explained where I could find everything including Alistair. That was until I asked where I could find a bath.

My first lesson in disappointment in my new life, bathing would be harder now than when I was sharing with seven other girls. I thanked him for the information, and I set out to find one for myself. Even soldiers bathed, we weren’t barbarians.

I wandered the camp with no real direction until I followed the sounds of barking dogs. I remembered the solider told me the king had his kennels on the north end of camp. The kennel master identified me as a Grey Warden and asked for my help. I was so excited about fulfilling Grey Warden duties that I had agreed before I heard what he needed.

I climbed into the enclosure with the sick Mabari. Treating him the way I had seen Aedan treat Rabbit I explained to him that he was only the second Mabari I had met. And that he was even more beautiful than the first one. Then I told him that we ought to be allowed hounds at the Tower because they were too smart for demons to possess. Talking in low tones, I told him that I was putting the muzzle on so the kennel master could make him better. He didn’t like it as he cowered, growled, and whined but he understood me enough to allow me to put the harness on his face. I gently patted his head and told him to get better I would see him after the battle if I could.

The kennel master told me he’d never known it was my first time dealing with the breed. And told me there was a way to improve his odds in surviving. The catch was I had to find a flower to make an extract from the wilds on the outside of the camp, where Duncan told me not to go.

I told him I didn’t know if I they let me beyond the gate, but I would ask as soon as I could. He explained that what he was doing for the dog would keep him living but not heal him. For that, he would need the flower so even if I couldn’t get it until after the battle if I brought it the Mabari would live.

It was then I thought about asking Aedan if he could help me get outside to get the flower. Surly having Rabbit he would be sympathetic toward the dog. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t itching to disobey orders.

With finding Aedan my new intent, I begin to wonder the camp again. I found myself by the gate. Was this my way of breaking the rules? But then I realized it was the hound who had caught my attention. It wasn’t a Mabari, but it was almost as big.

“Excuse me.”

Darragh turned from his men to address the most recent lackey of the Regent. He had told the man they would plan their own routes for scouting the wilds. His arms crossed he hoped the girl would just turn around and report to her lord she was unable to find him. And swallowed hard.

He found it difficult to make a coherent sentence. Standing before him was a ghost and the reason why he joined the Ash Warriors. He was to walk away from his past. It wasn’t supposed to haunt him. And it was working for that sodding Teyrn. “What do you need? You haven’t brought more instructions from the Teyrn I hope.”

“More instructions? No, I was just going to ask you about your hound? Is it a different type of Mabari? ”

Darragh chuckled warmly. Mabari are Mabari. Enid is a Cane Corso. She is distantly related. You haven’t had much interaction with dogs?”

“No. I was raised in Kinloch Keep. Animals were not allowed on a general basis. But I was able to help the Kennel Master care for a sick hound.”

Darragh shifted uncomfortably and said, “I know they treat mages unkind, but you cannot even have a pet?”

My ears touched my shoulders in a deep shrug. The common person had no idea the life in a circle tower. They would be horrified until someone reminded them it was just mages. “The Templars have multiple reasons for saying no. We would have to be allowed outside the Tower to care for the animal’s privy needs. Which could lead to someone trying to escape.”

Darragh snorted disgustedly.

“There is a more pragmatic reason, but the Templars do not want it known. If a demon is intent on escaping the Fade and cannot find a willing host, it will take possession of an animal. That is how we originally got werewolves. They would lose their job and control of Thedas if it was known demons only prefer mages but are willing to possess any living being.”

I didn’t know why it was suddenly important for him to know there was another reason besides spite that Templars said no pets. Maybe because he looked so uncomfortable. I took pity on him and returned to the topic of dogs. “You said they are distantly related?”

Darragh cleared his throat. She was the new Grey Warden recruit the camp was gossiping about. The Maker or the ancestors were enjoying tormenting him. He just didn’t know which. He needed to find some distance while he figured out what fate was telling him.

Maybe he could take an advance team out and scout one of those routes the Teyrn kept changing. He couldn’t chance running into her again. He opened his mouth to make an excuse and leave but she beat him to it with a question.

“You are fighting with your hound and the other soldiers are fighting with dogs. What’s the difference?”

He felt compelled to answer her question. “Mabari are war hounds. Bread for attack and defense. Good dogs but not well-rounded ones. Mabari thrive with head one combat. Enid and hound trained with Ash warriors are scenting hounds. They thrive on flushing out the enemy and running it down or hunting it.”

I listened as he told me about Ash Warriors and taking the training of some dwarf and adapting it to fight with dogs. But the entire lesson was completely over my head because I wasn’t really listening. I was raking my brain trying to figure out why he felt familiar.

Before I could find the courage to ask him one of his men interrupted and told him that they had their orders from the Teyrn. They needed to leave.

Darragh crossed his arms over his chest and bid me a glorious battle. Then turned and walked away without a look back or waiting for my response.

Shaking off the weird sensation I continued with my original search in finding either a bath or Aedan.

I finally found a solider that pointed me in the direction of the bathing tents. There was a conspiratorial gleam in her eye when she pointed out the area near the medical tents. I grinned to say thank you grateful I had finally found a female solider.

I had a choice find Aedan, Alistair or take a bath. The Kennel Master said the hound would live at least until after the battle. Aedan didn’t know I was looking for him. And I had the rest of the afternoon to find the Grey Warden. This was probably the only opportunity I would get if I wanted to bathe before the ritual.

I just hoped it wasn’t something that required chanting and nudity. Besides the warmth they offered, mage robes hid a multitude of sins.

I was lucky. I had my first bath without someone rushing me to finish. I even got to relax in the hot water for fifteen minutes. The washer woman was even able to rewarm it by changing it twice. I was clean. Kaiya made sure of that, taking a couple layers of skin as well as dirt.

It was the first time I was assisted in the bath. We chatted while I relaxed sore muscles. She told me about her task of overseeing the laundry and the bathing tents on the upper mezzanine where the lords and higher ranked officers were. While her husband and son served in the King’s Archers. She didn’t seam to mind that I was a mage.

Although with the way she looked at my discarded robe she was fearful it was an abomination. She didn’t think that it was possible to get it clean. She suggested it was probably better if I just burned it.

I agreed. I had worn it for the last twenty plus days, all day, and all night. Besides, Duncan had said something about getting Grey Warden robes after joining and the battle.

I climbed out of the bath and dried off with what appeared to be a large cotton bedcovering. It was softer than the practical scratchy woolen cloth we used back at the Tower. Dressing in my only spare robe and tied my hair back into a simple braid at the back of my nape and coiled it around it around itself leaving me with a large twisted bun on the back of my head.

I pulled on my slippers making plans to see if I could find the Quartermaster and purchase a pair of boots. But as I figured I was near the northern part of the old ruins I would find this Alistair and then food and then boots. Maybe he could help so I didn’t continue to wander aimlessly.

As I stepped out on to the crumbling old outcropping, I thought I heard Uldred. As was the persnickety mage, his voice was raised in annoyance. He was berating a man in armor. Neither of them looked my way as they continued to argue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is being published on FF.net as well. I figured if the story was to go mature, I would post the rated M here and the non mature version there. But in my profile page I have a poll. If you are a reading this story and the other one please vote.   
> The question........ In Seeking Alistair... there are flashbacks that belong to this story. If I leave them out of this story I am afraid of continutiy issues. But I don't want the readers to feel cheated because of reposting chapters. Now some of the chapters will be just a repost other chapters will have more details added as it was just about setting the scene for Seeking...   
>  https://www.fanfiction.net/~rykerdavis


	12. Meeting Alistair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhiannon meets Alistair and enjoys his company. Right up to the moment he tells her he was used to be a Templar. Can Alistair overcome her fear?

I stood there and watched Uldred try to cower the solider. I silently cheered him on as he gave as good as the Senior Enchanter did. I even had to cover my mouth and look away, so my laughter wasn’t seen when the warrior called him the grumpy one.

He did not understand how close to the truth he was. But I didn’t want Uldred going back to the Tower and using my behavior against Irving. He already thought he should be First Enchanter, he didn’t need help from me to make it happen.

He walked past me shouting ‘to get out of the way’. I didn’t know if I was supposed to be the fool. Or did the man he’d just verbally sparred with have the honor? Again, not looking to create a scene, I stepped out of his way.

For a moment I wondered if I should call him back and let him know about Jowan. The First Enchanter had put him in charge of rooting out blood mages, and I wondered how he missed it.

The thought was gone in an instant when the warrior walked over to me and said, “You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.”

I let the humor show in a short bark of laughter and quickly cover my mouth. Anders once told me that when I found something funny, I sounded like a cat in pain. Hoping the smile came across as dainty and ladylike, I said, “I know exactly what you mean.”

I was giggling at the image created by suggesting a standing in a circle holding hands and what the Darkspawn would think. He had come close enough to me I could see the color of his eyes and the slight freckling across the bridge of his nose. And was assaulted by my stomach doing flip-flops. I don’t think I’d ever imagined a man so handsome. Cullen was the closest I had seen.

“Wait, we haven’t met, have we?”

One of those clichéd lines Anders constantly used on members of both sexes he was interested in came to mind. But there was no way I was telling this man. Knowing my luck was probably Alistair, we met in my dreams.

Before I could produce a response that wouldn’t make me sound like an idiot, he asked if I was a mage? Worry replaced the earlier tingling in my stomach. I didn’t think I could handle another Aedan and keep my sanity.

Fortunately, Duncan’s reassurance that were other mages in the Grey Wardens gave me the courage to ask, “Would that make your day worse?”

“Hardly. I just like to know my chances of being turned into a toad at any given moment.”

“Turned into a toad? Mages can do that sort of thing?” I responded my lips tightly pressed together trying not to laugh.

Alistair only shrugged.

I went on, “No self-respecting Circle Mage would turn anyone into a toad. A cat on the other hand is debatable. Especially if it is Anders. But don’t worry while you’d probably be a beautiful feline, I am more of a hound person myself.”

“You are a mage?! Really, you don’t look like a mage.. that is err I mean.. How interesting.”

By this time, I was having to bite the inside of my cheeks not to laugh aloud. He made the word ‘interesting’ sound as if being a mage was a good thing.

“Wait. I do know who you are. You’re one of Duncan’s new recruits. The one from the Circle of Magi. I should have recognized you right away. I apologize.”

“Don’t. I mean, that’s all right. We haven’t met before, so how were you supposed to know who I was?”

“Duncan sent word. He spoke quite highly of you. Let me introduce myself. I am Alistair, the new Grey Warden. As the junior member of the order, I will accompany you when you prepare for the joining.”

I couldn’t fathom what possessed Duncan to lie to the man. It baffled me about what Duncan could speak highly about. Maybe Alistair was just being kind, trying to make up for the mage comment. “Pleased to meet you. I am Rhiannon.”

Alistair watched the corners of her mouth turned down into a frown and then a hesitant upturn into a half smile before offering her own introduction. He was pleasantly surprised. From Duncan’s communique he’d expected someone different. Not as young looking or pleasing to the eyes.

He shook his head to get that thought out of there. She was going to be a Grey Warden if she survived the joining. He couldn’t think of her like that. Maybe that’s why there weren’t many female wardens. “Right that was the name. You know it just occurred to me there haven’t been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?”

I grunted in surprise. I wasn’t at all what I expected. I was prepared for him to take exception with my being a mage, and he was focusing on the fact I was a woman. I didn’t know why, but it brought back that nervous excitement in the pit of my stomach. I had to know if it was a compliment or just an observation. “You want more women in the Wardens, do you?”

“Would that be so terrible?”

My mouth dropped in surprise. I don’t know what I expected, but not for him to admit it. At least there was no boorish comment about being the only if they looked like me. I had heard enough of that crude drivel from the Templars back at the Tower.

“Not that I am some drooling lecher. Or anything. Please stop looking at me like that.”

I quickly studied the ground, hoping he hadn’t seen the blush. Although with skin as fair as mine, I must be scarlet by now. Because a lecherous thought came to the surface as I was thinking about Templars and him being at the Tower. “Um I’m sorry. I wasn’t intending to be insulting. I just hadn’t expected for you to say it.”

“That’s why I am here. I deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners.”

I had no idea what to say to that. It occurred to me that he said he was a new Grey Warden and a junior member of the order to help us prepare for the ritual. Which lead me to ask what he could tell me about it. He cleared his throat and quickly changed the subject.

I asked him if the joining was that bad and he quickly told me not to worry about it, because it would only distract me. That meant whether he knew it, he just confirmed the danger. I tried asking a different way, letting him know that as a mage I knew something about rituals. But all he would do was reassure me that Duncan would explain it all and he would be there by my side to help me and the others out.

It surprised me. I didn’t know there were others, or that they had waited all of this time for Aedan and I to get here so they could undertake the joining. I asked about them and listened as Alistair told me about both the knight and the cutpurse.

Duncan had told me he’d been a cut purse before the Wardens. That was partly how he caught the attention of the Warden Commander. That made a Noble, a Knight and two criminals and I wondered about the man in front of me.

During our time on the road Duncan had answered many questions about what the Darkspawn were , where they came from, and why the Wardens were important. But I asked Alistair, knowing the answers would be the same. His voice was soothing, and he added funny quips that made the conversation much more entertaining than Duncan’s version.

When I had exhausted all the questions, I could think of Alistair suggested that we find Duncan. I agreed and then halted. I knew Uldred was a troublesome man to talk to. He taught several of the older apprentices; I included some more advanced forms of entropy.

I hadn’t done very well under his guidance with the subject. Irving suggested that it was less about me not understanding and more to lack of ability since he could only teach as a theory under Templar orders.

“The argument with Uldred...”

“Is that the name of the mage? As you know the Circle is here because the King wants them. And of course, the Chantry doesn’t like it one bit . They don’t mind reminding the mages of it. Which puts me in a bit of an awkward position. I was once a Templar.”

I swallowed hard, the fear pooling in my stomach replacing all earlier feelings of excitement. I took two steps backward, trying to put space between us. “You were a mage hunter?”

“Not that that’s all templars do, but yes. The chantry raised me until Duncan recruited me six months ago. I’m sure the Revered mother meant it as an insult… sending me as her messenger. And the mage picked right up on it.”

I took another two steps back. This man who was standing in front of me was one of those… those who wanted to keep all mages locked up for the good of all. By any and all means. How could I be so stupid as to let a pretty face tie my stomach in knots. He was going to be a hundred times worse than Aedan.

“I would have never agreed to deliver it, but Duncan said were all to cooperate and get along. Apparently, they didn’t get the same speech.”

By now there was at least a foot of space between us. And I stepped backward again. “Um you don’t have to accompany me, do you?”

“Is this because …”

“No.” I said completely unconvincingly.

“Becoming a Templar was a decision made for me a long time ago. Look, I know as a templar, you might be uncomfortable around me. Which is a pity because I think we could be good friends. I hated it at the monastery, and even Duncan could see that. I think that is why he took compassion on me and recruited me.”

Alistair stepped forward, closing the distance I had created, and held out his hand. “Get to know me as a Grey Warden and if I still scare you, then we don’t have to work together again.”

He stood there with his hand out for several moments while I tried to judge the sincerity of his words. Up to now he’d treated me with respect, even after learning I was a mage. I heard the tone of disapproval in his voice at how the Chantry treated mages. And other than not allowing Uldred to mistreat him, he had behaved regarding the senior enchanter.

I hesitantly took his hand and said, “Duncan said Grey Warden templars and mages work together and have formed friendships. We can try.”

Alistair let go of my hand and grabbed my bicep and helped position my hand on his bicep. “You are my sister Grey Warden, not a mage. And I am an ex-Templar. You will never have to fear me.”

I took a deep breath and released it. “Then I look forward to traveling with you, hopefully to a hot meal and a place I can get a pair of good boots.”


	13. Our first Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into the wilds to collect Darkspawn blood or merry band goes. It's their first quest in becoming Grey Wardens.

“That was a wonderful thing you did with the prisoner. Few would have bothered with him to be executed.”

I shrug, unconvinced. “I’m not sure you’re right. I think most people are compassionate and kind-hearted. At least in principle. It might be more difficult to see because we are in a military camp and he a deserter. But even the solider gave him his dinner.”

“Only after you traded him the silver. It was about making a profit.”

I turned and put a hand on Alistair’s arm, stopping his momentum.

When our eyes met, I swallowed hard and almost forgot what to say. “I believe he only wanted the money to show he wasn’t a pushover. Ten silver really isn’t that much.”

“Yes, but he could have summoned a plate for the prisoner and just do his duty. It takes a special person to give without a though to yourself.”

I flushed and knew I must be scarlet from his compliment. I tried to downplay my actions. “Fooled you. The entire time I offered it, I hoped he would just give it to the man without requiring the silver. I was going to use the coins to buy a pair of boots.”

Alistair chuckled, not fooled. She had already asked about leaving the encampment to get a flower for a sick hound. He would argue, but from the blush he could see she was uncomfortable. Instead he said, “Let's get back to Duncan. I am sure he’s wondering where we are.”

I frowned, wishing that in all my wandering around the camp with and without Alistair, I hadn’t found the mess tent. A hot meal was right under the bath on my list of wants. I almost said something to Alistair, but before I could, he heard my stomach complaining.

His eyes twinkling, he told me to follow him.

I was surprised because it was the first time since joining me. He took the lead. I had asked him earlier based on the fact he knew the camp better than me, but he declined, telling me I would remember where things were better if I found them myself. He told me some story about bad things happening when he led, including losing his pants.

***

We were sitting at a table eating a bowl of pea and lamb stew when another one of the grey warden recruits found us.

After introducing himself, he explained he thought they had made me up. Alistair invited him to join us for the meal. He declined the meal but slid onto the bench to keep us company.

I listened to his story about growing up near the encampment and then escaping to Denerim. When he told me about being a cut purse and trying to steal Duncan’s money purse, I gasped in surprise.

I looked at Alistair to confirm and could see the smile was tight and forced. Which made me wonder if he didn’t like Daveth.

When the other recruit confessed, it astonished him that Duncan could keep up with him Alistair’s expression changed. It wasn’t a matter of liking the man Alistair didn’t approve of stealing from the leader of the Grey Wardens.

As we walked back to the enormous bonfire in the center of camp, I explained that I was also conscripted. Which lead to a discussion of how a mage can be conscripted with the Templars having complete control over them.

Alistair reminded us of his own experience with conscription and explained that even the Chantry and Templars couldn’t tell Grey Wardens no. The tale end of Alistair’s story gave Duncan the perfect opportunity to chastise the former Templar.

Feeling that Duncan didn’t know the situation, I jumped to Alistair’s defense.

“Duncan, you don’t understand. I was there. It wasn’t Alistair’s fault. The priest was the one who insulted Uldred. Alistair tried to tell him he was only delivering a message, but Uldred wasn’t interested. He couldn’t openly share his frustrations with the priest. So, in typical Uldred fashion, he bullied the messenger. Alistair only stopped him from badgering him.”

Duncan closed his eyes, shook his head, and groaned. “And the priest made him suggest naming a child after him?”

“Um,” I looked at my feet in both annoyance and to hide the grin. The comment was funny, especially since what made Uldred more upset was that he couldn’t make Alistair cower like he could apprentices. I was trying to help him, but it looked like I was just getting him into more trouble.

I opened my mouth to say more, but Alistair called my name and shook his head.

He quietly stood there and took the rest of Duncan’s reprimand and offered to find the two missing recruits.

He didn’t have to go far. Walking up to the bonfire was Aedan, and a fully armored knight. I marveled at Cousland’s timing and briefly wondered what he had done all day.

Ser Jory introduced himself and explained that he was from Highover by way of Redcliffe. It didn’t surprise me that Aedan had found someone from the same city. Other than the entire murder of his family, he was lucky. I just wondered if he found him here in the camp, or did he leave looking for Fergus?

Wherever he went, Aedan traded out his short swords for a long bow. I wondered if the battle he and I had with the Darkspawn on the road caused him to change his fighting style.

When introductions were complete Duncan explained the first part of the joining ceremony for becoming Grey Wardens. He danced around our questions, not really giving an answer but assuring we would know more when we returned from the Wilds. Our assignment was to gather the blood of the enemy.

I scoffed lightly, understanding immediately why the subterfuge and secrecy around the ritual. It was a form of blood magic. I could only imagine after the tower what Aedan would think.

But it struck me as a little odd. A former Templar would accept such a thing. And realized that if he allowed blood magic to be performed on him or with him, it couldn’t be normal blood magic, or at least not the forbidden type mages were constantly accused of practicing.

I would try to keep an open mind. Not that I would admit it, but I was worrying.

They challenged us at the gate, but once the solider saw Alistair he allowed us to go through.

Standing on the other side of the gate and watching it close behind me left me feeling as if I swallowed something that would not go down. I knew it was fear. But I wasn’t sure why. Aedan and I worked together to take out a party of Darkspwan and now we had three additional people.

“Alistair, you’re the Grey Warden, you take the lead.” Aedan said.

“I am not here to make this easy on you. This is your trial,” Alistair said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Then Lord Cousland should do it.” Ser Jory suggested.

That rankled me. I spent the entire trip, well most of it with Aedan the proclaimed leader. And now here again he was going to take over. “No.”

Aedan guffawed at my rejection. In a scoffing tone he said, “I take it you want to be the leader.”

I shook my head no and said, “I wouldn’t do any worse than you. But I don’t think we should have a leader. I think this is a test of our devotion and determination. Which means no one person can decide for all of us. Am I right, Alistair?”

“All I can say is Duncan gave you a task to do. I am only here to make sure you don’t run into something you can’t handle.”

“I agree with the pretty mage. If we stand around here talking about this, we are going to be out here all night. I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of things in the Wilds you don’t want to run into at night.”

“That’s right, you grew up around here before you went to Denerim. Have you been out in the Wilds before?” I thought that if he knew the wilderness, he could take point and guide us. That hope was dashed when he shook his head no and said not for many years.

We’d left the camp on a worn path, Jory and Daveth taking the lead. Me, Rabbit and Aedan following and Alistair bringing up the rear. On a whim, I thought to ask Aedan about the change in weaponry. And whether he realized it, he gave me the biggest compliment, telling that I was right. We only needed so many swordsmen, and after realizing the two other recruits carried blades, he traded out the sword for a bow.

When he noticed the blush, he jokingly pushed me and told me not to let it go to my head.

We couldn’t have gotten more than a half a mile deep into the wilds when we came upon the carnage of a battle. There was blood everywhere, but only one body. I jumped slightly when the body moved.

Aedan and I exchanged startled glances when a broken and raspy voice spoke. My surprise quickly turned to mirth with Alistair’s dead comment. Even Aedan cleared his throat trying to hide his own humor.

Alistair treated the soldier’s wounds, and we sent him back to camp. I wandered away from the group, looking for the rest of the soldier’s group. I could faintly hear Ser Jory’s rising panic. And wondered how a knight could be so afraid.

I couldn’t hear what Alistair was saying, but from the tone of his voice he and Aedan were trying to calm him down.

Startled, I jumped when something brushed against my leg. Relief washed over me as Rabbit nudged my hand again. Aedan’s Mabari followed me. Mentally I lectured myself at giving Jory a hard time when the hound I traveled almost a month startled me.

“Where are all the bodies, boy? The solider said his entire squad was ambushed. In the shape he was, he couldn’t get to far from where they were attacked.”

Startled again when Alistair said, “Darkspawn take the dead with them. There’s and ours. They eat them or use them in their alters.”

“Eat them?” Jory and I repeated, horrified.

Alistair grimly nodded. I watched the fear cross over the other recruit’s faces at the disgusting reality occurred to them. Aedan once more tried to reassure Ser Jory while pushing his own fear down. I couldn’t read what Daveth was thinking. But my fear was slowly being replaced by anger at the audacity of the monsters. And knew if I could hold on to that anger the fear couldn’t control me like it was doing the knight.


	14. Becoming a Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trek to get the Darkspawn blood is more than just getting ingredients for the ritual. Those that survive must learn to become a team. Add a couple Witches of the Wilds and you have full quest.

The wilds seem to go on forever. Or maybe that was just what my aching feet and legs were trying to convince me. With no sun and no moons to see, I couldn’t be sure how long we had been traveling, but it had to be at least three to four hours.

The cold had seeped into my bones, making me feel as if I would never be warm again. Of course, I was out of cold balm. My feet, soaked to the skin, made me regret for the hundredth time tonight spending the coin on the deserter. But as soon as I thought it, I told myself I was a bad person for thinking that way and knowing I would do it again.

One good thing was, as a team we were meshing well. After fighting the wolf pack and a few misfires, we got into a rhythm. Jory, Alistair and Rabbit attacked head on and fought one enemy until it was dead. Daveth bounced around kicking, slashing and even backstabbing anyone he saw. Which caused some issues when I cast spells. Fortunately, for all of us the wounds were superficial when I accidently hit them with Daveth later called friendly fire.

One of the times, I gave Ser Jory the injury potion he confessed he’d been hoping to have time to talk to me. He told me about his wife and their expected child and wanting to return to Redcliffe. He was looking for the glory of being a Grey Warden, and something told me that wouldn’t turn out well for him. I tried not to think too badly of him.

But to be fair, I favored the cutpurse to the knight. He was cheeky and had no problem with me being a mage. Other than Aedan, no one seemed to mind my magic. But Daveth went a step further and treated me like a woman. When I suggested I would watch his back if he watched mine. He said, “Oh I’ll watch your back.” It wasn’t what he said that had me blushing, but how he said it.

He was also the first one who helped me pile the bodies so I could burn them. My first body was Joby. I had gone to the water’s edge to look for the flower and found the missionary floating face down. After getting over my initial shock at the condition of the body, I realized the Darkspawn must not have found him. Just in case they came back I was going to make they didn’t take him.

While Daveth helped me pull Joby’s body out of the water Alistair questioned why. I asked it was them or their family wouldn’t you want someone to make sure you weren’t eaten. Aedan and Jory cautioned that we didn’t have time to search all the wilds for the fallen soldiers.

We compromised. They would help me gather the bodies for burning so I didn’t have to do the heavy lifting. And we only took care of the bodies we found directly in our path. None of worried about walking off leaving the bodies burning with cold wet conditions of the swamp.

We were licking our wounds, so to speak. Okay, only Rabbit was licking the cut to his hindquarters, but everyone else was swallowing a vial of healing potion, injury potion or both. I had used up half my stock but we could see the crumbling tower Alistair said held the treaties we were to find.

Once we healed enough walking wasn’t painful, we headed into the ruins. I tried to imagine what it looked like when it was standing. There standing in the middle of what I assumed in the past was a vault, a stone chest with a smashed chest. Alistair, Aedan and myself rushed to find nothing. The chest was completely empty, and it looked as if it had been that way for a while.

We all turned in surprise as a woman walked down a ramp behind us accusing us of being vultures or intruders in her wilds. Aedan spoke up first to tell her we were neither, but his voice cracked and suddenly he had no idea what to say.

She told us she had been watching us for a while, wondering why we were there. That was when Alistair cautioned us not to talk to her.

She sarcastically mocked him, fearing barbarians swooping down on us. Ignoring her sarcasm the same way he did Uldred he just said, “Yes swooping is bad.” 

And I couldn’t hide my smile. I thought he was so funny.

Daveth for the first time sounded fearful, claiming she was a witch of the wilds and was going to turn us into toads. Without denying she was the witch, she claimed they were legends and asked if we had no minds of our own. Then she singled me out and said, “You there. Women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine.”

I didn’t know much about barbarians, but I doubted they wished to make introductions. And if they were thinking her a witch, then more likely she was a mage either not caught by the Templars or escaped from a tower. I didn’t see the harm in telling her my name after all, we were sisters of a sort, magic and all.

“I am Rhiannon. Pleased to meet you.”

“Now there is a proper greeting. You may call me Morrigan. Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest. Something that is here no longer.”

“Here no longer,” Alistair demanded and then accused her of being a witch thief and demanded that she return the Grey Warden property.

I groaned and shook my head. It was a good thing he was cute because he wasn’t helping.

She took the insult just as I assumed she would. Angrily she snapped back that she wasn’t the one who took them. We could threaten with a name that held no power, but she was not worried. Hoping to salvage something of the conversation, I asked who took the documents.

In a huff, she responded it was her mother. Alistair made another sarcastic comment about believing her, and the conversation spiraled until I asked if she could take us to see her mother. Duncan had made it clear those treaties were part of our joining. We needed to find out what happened to them.

We were finally making headway when she agreed, telling me it was a sensible request and that she liked me. And of course, Alistair needed to warn me about being turned into a frog. I agreed with Jory when he suggested if the pot was warmer.

As the group followed Morrigan with Aedan leading the group, I turned to Alistair and said, “Don’t worry. Mages are immune from frog magic. If she turns you into a frog, I will save you from the pot and keep you as my pet.”

His mouth dropped open and nothing came out. I grinned, spun on my toes and followed the others. Within moments, Alistair had caught up and said, “You know there are worse things than being your pet. But green isn’t really my color. Do you think she could turn me into a blue frog?”

“And who said I want a blue frog as a pet. This isn’t Orlais.”

All eyes were on me as entered the clearing, including a white-haired old woman. I wondered briefly if I was as bright red as I felt. 

Morrigan introduced us, and again Alistair opened his mouth and accused them of something nefarious. I wondered how many times his thinking before speaking had gotten him into trouble.

Aedan jabbed him with his elbow and Alistair said no more. Which didn’t matter as she specifically spoke to me asking what my ‘women’s mind’ thought. I told her I didn’t know what to think. And it was true. I figured they were hedge witches. Which would explain why Daveth was so unsettled but wasn’t willing to rule out the possibility there was more to the story.

It must have been the answer she was looking for because she praised me. Then suggested there was a wisdom in the unknown. Aedan on the other hand suggested that he was no fool. Being around him for the last month, I knew that he was telling her he didn’t believe the stories about her, but it came out sounding conceited.

She dismissed him with an off-handed remark and then told us she had kept the treaties safe. I heard Alistair and Aedan talking to her in the background, but all I could think about was why with a party of five she singled me out.

Alistair put the returned documents in his pack and suggested we return to the camp. With a last word of warning, the old woman sent us on our way with her daughter as our guide. Mutely, I listened to Alistair grumble all the way back to camp and watch Aedan trying to engage our guide in conversation.

For the hour, it took us to return by her shortcut Morrigan successfully avoided all conversation with Aedan or anyone else other than wish them the hope darkspawn didn’t devour us. 

She left us disappearing back into the wilds before we got to the gate, diving out camp from the wilds.


	15. Joining Ritual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody said Jory's fear of the ritual was unfounded. The blood magic if it doesn't kill you forever changes you.

9:30 Dragon, 3 Wintermarch – Ostagar

I heard the audible sigh of my companions as we walked through the gate separating the wilds and the camp. I echoed the sentiment, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Morrigan was still out there watching us. I wasn’t even sure why it bothered me.

Alistair nudged me and said, “We need to get these back to Duncan. He’s expecting us.”

“I have something I need to do first.”

“Rhiannon, you have the flower. The hound can wait. The Kennel Master said that he would survive until after the battle.”

I didn’t know how to explain to Ser Jory urgency I felt. Or the need to get the medicine to the dog. I understood it had something to do with the danger, with the ritual. But as Duncan and Alistair avoided the topic and changed the subject, I could only imagine worst case. Something told me if I didn’t get the flower to the Kennel Master now, it might not happen.

“The flower might lose its affect the longer it’s not used after we have picked it. It’s wilted and half dead now. Go ahead without me. I’ll catch up. Hopefully, Duncan will understand.”

Aedan surprised me and said, “No. We’ll wait for you. Technically Duncan doesn’t know we are back, yet.”

A lump formed in my throat as I looked at Daveth, Jory and Alistair and found them nodding in agreement.

After finishing at the kennels and the hound Master assuring me that the Mabari would be good as new in a little while, we made our way back to the bonfire where Duncan waited. Aedan and Alistair brought up Morrigan and Flemeth.

It interested me seeing what he thought of two women, but after verifying that they weren’t barbarians, Duncan counseled Alistair to remember he wasn’t there to worry about apostate mages. I had hoped that Alistair would explain that Flemeth warned us about the blight being a greater danger than we knew, but he just looked at the ground like a kicked puppy.

The place I originally met Alistair was actually the old temple, according to Duncan, and it was where we were to perform the joining ritual.

Ser Jory and Daveth were arguing. The knight's whining had gotten on all our nerves. He was having trouble controlling the fear. Why, I didn’t know. He had proven himself more than a capable warrior.

Alistair stood there against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, lost in thought about something. I’d lay odds on it being Duncan’s reprimand. He watched me as I walked over to join the men but said nothing to any of us.

Jory asked why all the tests. Hadn’t he proven himself. He had. We all had. But Daveth made a point to when he thought it might be tradition. I had to bite my tongue when he suggested Duncan was doing it to annoy him. I looked to Alistair, figuring he would intercede, but other than a quick grin he said nothing.

“Calm down, there is nothing that can be done about it now.” Aedan reminded the knight.

I rolled my eyes when he told us about his wife in Highover again. We had heard about her six times already. He didn’t think it was fair that Duncan didn’t tell him about the danger ahead of time. But I wondered, as a knight hadn’t, he delt with life and death before.

Daveth beat me in asking if he’d known would he have still come. He said the Wardens must do what they must get recruits. He talked about how much he would sacrifice to end the blight. I knew this man was someone I would fight till my death alongside.

“You make a good point, Daveth,” I said, hoping that Jory was listening and that would be the end.

Jory might have said more, but Duncan appeared. He crossed the floor, speaking to all of us about the origins of the Grey Wardens. Standing at the table, he placed a goblet down and turned to us. We like the first wardens were to drink Darkspawn blood. I glanced at Aedan’s face to see if he realized yet that we were performing blood magic. If he did, he made no show. His face was impassive.

I didn’t know how I felt. Blood magic was evil. And went against everything they had ever taught me. But Duncan said it was the source of the Grey Wardens power. I’d had an inkling we were going to dabble in blood magic. I figured it was the root of the ceremony but not ‘the’ ritual.

When Alistair said those that survive the joining…. I was going to die. I survived almost eight years at the Tower under constant threat and abuse. And a vial of Darkspawn blood in a secret ritual was going to kill me. If the Templars back at the Tower could see me now, they would laugh their arses off.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I couldn’t get out of it if I couldn’t think straight. Wait, did he say master the taint? Was it like the harrowing? It was a test, like the demon if I could defeat him, I would survive?

I tried to focus on what Alistair said, hoping he was like Irving just before the Harrowing giving us clues on what to do. But the man was of no help. The words of the ritual sounded more like a prayer. I would just have to depend on myself.

Daveth was the first. I tried to give him a supportive smile. He took the cup and put it to his lips and swallowed.

For a moment, I hoped. Then I noticed both Alistair and Duncan backing away. He doubled over and his groan became a howl of pain. He was on his knees grabbing at his throat when I heard Jory’s expletive to the Maker. I wanted to run to Daveth. Heal him. Do something, but something rooted me in place. I felt helpless.

Daveth was still groaning in pain as Duncan apologized to him and commanded Jory to step forward.

I tore my eyes away from Daveth’s prone body lying on the ground when I heard Jory pull his sword.

He kept repeating that he had a wife and child. But Duncan wasn’t listening. He calmly said there was no turning back and advanced on the knight.

He handed the cup to Alistair and pulled his own dagger.

Aedan and I looked on in horror as Jory tried to fight Duncan, only to lose and find himself impaled on Duncan’s blade. There was a sadness in Duncan’s voice that told me that wasn’t the way he’d wanted things to go. And for a moment, I briefly wondered about Templars. And then dismissed it as Duncan was speaking to Aedan, telling him it was his turn.

Aedan whispered, “if I die take care of Rabbit for me.”

I nodded as I watched him put the cup to his lips and swallow.

As he handed the cup back to Duncan, I snatched it away. I would not stand there, watch Aedan die, waiting for my turn.

I saw the surprise on Duncan’s face as I wiped the blood from my lower lip after gulping the last swallow of liquid in the chalice. Aedan made a gurgling sound and the last thing I saw was his eyes go white, before the pain exploded in my head.

Distantly, I heard sounds. It was like the crashing of water against the rocks during a heavy storm. I tried to focus on it, but it quickly became overwhelming. And I tried to run away. That’s when I saw the dragon. He roared. And the sound became so loud I sure my head would explode. Then there was blissful blackness. My last thought was, so this is what it is like to die.

My body ached, and my head throbbed. I didn’t think you were supposed to feel anything when you joined the maker. Or in my case being a mage, I was supposed to wander the fade forever.

Opening my eyes, I saw two concerned faces staring down at me. It took me a moment to focus on Duncan as he told me it was complete and welcomed me. I could hear the pain in Alistair’s voice as he said two more deaths. As he stood, he added that in his joining only one of them died, but I noticed he didn’t tell me how many were in his joining.

Awkwardly, I sat up and looked around the temple. Alistair said there were only two deaths, and Jory and Daveth died before we drank. It meant Aedan must still be alive.

There he was, leaning against the table, unwilling to meet my eyes.

He offered me a hand and helped me to my feet as he said he was glad that at least two of us made it.

I nodded, not finding the right words as Duncan asked how I felt. He stressed that Jory was warned that there was no turning back. And that he defended himself when Jory went for his blade. He said he found no pleasure in killing him.

His quick defense had me wondering if Aedan had accused him of wanting to kill Jory. Or suggesting that there could have been another way. Myself, I was numb. It felt as if I had gone through the Harrowing all over again.

Alistair asked if I had dreams that his dreams were terrible. I didn’t know what I had. That thing that roared. I think it was a dragon, but I couldn’t be sure now that I was awake. The things I saw and heard were fading, so maybe they were dreams. But mages didn’t dream. Dreams were the fade and mages stay conscious in the fade.

I shook my head, not sure but not able to explain it either. I figured if I just said yes, he wouldn’t ask for details. After I got it straight in my mind, I could come back later and ask.

Duncan quickly tried to reassure me that there were many things I would need to learn in the months to come and plenty of time for learning them. For the time being, we needed to focus on the upcoming battle.

“Wait. There is one last part to the joining. Those that do not survive the joining. We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant. Something to remind us of those that didn’t make it this far.”

My mind went immediately to Daveth and as Alistair held out the silver amulet, my eyes darted to where the cutpurse had fallen. When I didn’t see him lying there anymore. I searched for Jory. But all that was left of him was the bloodstain on the wall and ground.

Aedan must have known what I was thinking and said, “I helped them carry them down to the pyres. The priest will get them ready to meet the Maker.”

I nodded mutely and accepted the pendant.


	16. Coming Battle Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The joining is over now Rhiannon needs to focus on the upcoming battle. This chapter corresponds to the flashback in chapter13 & 14 of Seeking Alistair

9:30 Dragon, 3 Wintermarch – Ostagar

Aedan and I stood facing Duncan with Alistair between us, me on the right. We’d accompanied Duncan to the Regents strategy meeting right after I awoke. I found it strange that Alistair who was more senior wasn’t chosen to go instead.

We hadn’t spoken more than a few words since the death of Ser Jory, Daveth and joining. Aedan was horrified at Duncan killing Ser Jory. When concentrating on it I realized was stunned but not completely shocked. Mostly I would miss Daveth.

In fact, through the entire ceremony all I could see was how much it mirrored the Harrowing. I now understood why Duncan apologized for another ordeal so soon, and Alistair couldn’t look me in the eye when I asked about it.

Thinking back to Alistair leaning against the wall not talking was probably him preparing himself and not the spat with Duncan like I thought.

I wondered if the Templars kill the Mages like that if they refused the Harrowing. Knight Rutherford had said that if I became an abomination, he would do the Makers will. But were there those who were struck down for not being willing to chance it?

Was the Rite of Tranquility the mage version of Duncan plunging a sword into your heart? Were the Grey Wardens any different from the Templars?

Duncan brought my attention back to the matter at hand. “You heard the plan. You and Alistair will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure the beacon is lit.”

“What!? I won’t be in the battle?” Alistair demanded angrily.

“This is by the Kings personal request, Alistair. If the beacon is not lit, Teyrn Loghain’s men won’t know when to charge,” Duncan countered.

“So, he needs three Grey Wardens standing up there holding the torch, just in case, right?”

Aedan pounded his fist into his hand and said, “I agree with Alistair we should be in the battle.”

Rabbit barked his approval of desire.

I said nothing. I wasn’t pleased at being excluded. But I wasn’t broken up about not being in the thick of the storm either. Aedan and Alistair were warriors used to being in battle. A month ago, I had only used offensive magic in the Tower guarded by Templars.

The Wilds were more my comfort level. Small bands of Darkspawn I could plan tactics for not just throw fireball after fireball and hope something died.

To be fair, I didn’t understand the king’s request for three Grey Wardens when a Mages fireball would work. Especially if the Grey Warden was a Mage. The Revered Mother could rot.

“That is not your choice. If King Cailan wishes, Grey Wardens to ensure the beacon is lit. Then Grey Wardens will be there. We must do whatever it takes to destroy the Darkspawn. Exciting or no.”

Alistair shrugged his shoulders in surrender and said, “I get it, I get it. But just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I’m drawing the line. Darkspawn or no.”

I giggle, “I think I’d like to see that?”

He turned to me and flashed a smile that made my heart skip a beat. “For you maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress.”

I want to ask if he imagines it to be an Orlesian ball gown or a simple day dress. I am sure he will have some funny quip, but I am not quite brave enough to ask. I had surprised myself by teasing him about becoming a frog. I didn’t want to push my luck. Aedan could laugh at me all day, but I didn’t want Alistair to think I was silly.

Duncan groaned, causing both Aedan and I to burst out laughing. And Alistair to look pleased with himself. We turned to leave when our commander asking me to stay stopped us.

“Rhiannon a moment if you would.”

Aedan, Alistair, and I all exchanged glances. Aedan shrugged. He was used to Duncan pulling me aside to teach me or show me how to do something.

I turned back the few steps we had taken and stared at the bonfire. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. And it grew when Duncan dismissed my companions telling them I would find my way, but he needed to talk to me. I almost waved goodbye to them, as I had a feeling I would never see them again.

Rabbit nudged me until I scratched his head. A quick curl of my fingers in the hair between his ears was he allowed me before he followed his Master and Alistair.

When they were gone Duncan said, “Come, we have little time. And we have a lot to talk about.”

I followed Duncan as we walked back up the embankment towards the open paddock; I saw looking over the bridge. So many men and women were on the field it was a wonder we left any in all of Ferelden.

As he walked Duncan said, “The Teyrn was correct. This battle is much too dangerous for King Cailan to be at the center. But he believes the myths around the Grey Wardens to the exclusion of common sense. Do you remember what I said about magic and Wardens?”

I agreed. In truth, Aedan and I spoke for a few minutes before we went our separate ways to explore the camp. For, the King of Ferelden to be on the front lines with soldiers was both daring and foolish. He knew the way to his men’s hearts. And it made both of us want to serve with him more.

And Duncan had said there was a place for magic in the battle. The darkspawn had their own magic users with no rules. He also said there were worse things than blood mages and abominations. I disagreed, but since I just participated in a blood ritual, I had no room to throw stones. I said “yes” and waited for him to continue.

“Grey Wardens do whatever it takes to end the blight. No matter the cost or the belief. If the King were to die on the battlefield fighting with the Grey Wardens…”

I immediately understood where he was going. When things went wrong someone always wanted a scapegoat.

“There are those that could say the Grey Wardens killed him. But what does this have to do with me, Duncan. I can’t compel the King not to fight, or to go home. I know I willingly helped Jowan to escape. And I told him that the Knight Commander and First Enchanter knew what he was planning. But I am not a blood Mage. I helped him because he was my friend. I couldn’t betray him, but I didn’t know he was a blood mage.”

Duncan frowned. He thought they had discussed this before, and she knew how he felt. “I know that, Rhiannon. If I had suspected, when I conscripted you, you proved the accusation wrong on the journey. Had you been a blood mage the first time we encountered Darkspawn; you were frightened enough, you would have used it. I would never suggest compulsion against a human. But there will be plenty of the enemies who can be compelled with the right amount of offensive magic.”

“So, you want me too…?”

“I want you to focus on the king. Because of his father and him, Grey Wardens are allowed in Ferelden. If he dies, we face expulsion again. Don’t worry about the Horde. Someone will protect you. Forget about the other soldiers, they are expendable. Ignore the other battles going on around you. You will only lose your focus.

You and I are not joining the other Wardens on the field. You and I are going to protect the King. You with magic and I with blades.”

“His Majesty will not like that very much.”

“No, he won’t. But he will have to survive the battle to be annoyed with us. And then I will remind him who holds the title Commander of the Grey. His father would not approve how much of a glory hound he has become.”

Suddenly a chill ran the length of my back and I rubbed my robed arms in response. What I wouldn’t give for a fur mantle and cloak because suddenly I was colder than I had been in the wilds. And we had to keep moving to stay warm out there. Standing next to the huge bonfire told me it was an internal chill. Duncan had just made the king of Ferelden my responsibility.

Aedan and Alistair were going to be upset with me and this assignment when they found out. And for two copper pieces, I would trade places with either of them. Although if these two busy body apprentices in the Tower could see me now, they would eat their socks. Me protecting the most important man in all of Ferelden. “Do I have time to go get something?”

Duncan sighed. “I thought I told you to have everything done before coming to the joining.”

“You did, but you didn’t tell me I would be responsible for keeping the king alive. I need to make sure I have plenty of healing balms, injury kits. I used most of what I had in the wilds, and I had not planned for being responsible for someone else. Normally I would make them… but all the herbs…”

“I thought mages could heal without potions.”

I laugh. That is a common myth. Not completely a myth. There were spirt healers. Every circle had at least one. But they were rare. And the Templars discouraged them because it put you in constant contact with Fade spirits.

I thought about the departing book that my teacher gave me. “That is not a skill I currently have. But I have a tome that can teach me the basics. I started reading it on the way.”

I could tell that I was babbling from the frown on his face. Or maybe he thought I intended on looking in the book and trying to heal during the battle. “I have several attack spells and a few defensive spells. I will try not to let you down. But maybe you have time to get Aedan and Alistair instead or at least a better mage.”

“No. They have their own duty and so do you. We can do this. You have a few minutes to get into place before the call for battle. Hurry and get what you need.”

I took off running. I wasn’t getting very far, very fast as the tightness of the skirts of my robes constricted the moment of my legs. Another Templar trick to keep the mages from running away. I took out the obsidian dagger Duncan had given me. And slit both sides of my orange enchanters robe from ankle to mid-thigh.

The makeshift alterations could have been better, but I didn’t have time to worry about the appearance. The sad part of the story was I gained a little more maneuverability, but not much else. I would still have to pull it up, which meant my staff would be an issue. If we survived this battle, before the next one I was going to something else to wear. Could mages wear armor because that was what I really wanted?


	17. A Skirmish Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing ever goes the way it is supposed to. Having just become a warden there are still some old battles that need fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter corresponds to the flashback in chapter 15 & 16 of Seeking Alistair.

It was total chaos or that is how it felt to me. I don’t remember which book I had read it in, but it described ‘the roar of battle.’ I finally understood what it meant. People rushing one way or the other. Everyone yelling to get over the top of someone else. And no one seemed to know where anyone was. The First Enchanter would call it a madhouse and I would agree. 

But not all the noise was in the camp. There was this din of noise close enough to be a racket but far enough I couldn’t make out a single voice. It was like standing outside the dining hall and listening to all the mages talking at once. 

Darkspawn. This is what Alistair meant when he said Grey Wardens know when they are close. They were talking to me but when I concentrated on what they were saying it just became noise.  
When I finally found and waylaid the red-haired elf in the corner of the encampment, she told me the quartermaster had packed up and left. He wanted to be on the road before the battle started. And she was in fact sent to gather a few left-over items and to join him on the road.

I asked if she might have a few of the potions I was looking for and she haughtily shook her head no. Even after I offered to pay her coin. She didn’t spare me a second though as she scurried away to do her master’s bidding. 

There were three chests on the ground. Probably what they couldn’t carry. I looked at them carefully and noted the heavy padlock. No key and no Aedan to pick them. I was truly out of luck.  
In my pack, I had six vials and the components to make maybe two more. And that might have been enough if this was a skirmish or we faced minor injuries. The irony of having the wilds with most of the plants needed right outside the gates was not lost on me.

I walked out of the alcove and right into the mailed chest of a Templar. I didn’t recognize him. He must have come from the chantry in Denerim because I had never saw him at the Tower. 

I tried to make my apologies, but he wasn’t having any of it. And it seemed the more I tried to explain the angrier he got.

He grabbed me by my arm and started dragging me toward the area where the Mages performed under constant guard.

“You have to let me go. Duncan is waiting for me. He only gave me leave to go to the quartermaster and return.”  
“And who is this Duncan, you tart? Another mage who snuck out of the Tower?”

“My Warden Commander. I am not a mage. I am a Grey….I mean, I am a Grey Warden Mage. Please Ser, you must let me go. My commander expects me on the battlefield before the call to arms is sounded.”

“You’re not old enough to have taken your Harrowing much less become a Grey Warden. If you are going to lie, then at least lie believable. They don’t have female Grey Wardens. You stowed away with the others of your Circle. And now you’ve made up this ridiculous story to stay out of trouble.”

I plant my feet in and effort to stop momentum forward. He is not listening to me and my time is running out. His strength outstrips mine and he keeps dragging me along. 

I must find a way to stop him from pulling me, but I know better than to use magic against a Templar. It will get me thrown in Aeonar and I am no good to anybody in the mages prison.

“Take me to see Duncan. He will verify that I am telling the truth. Or take me to the king, he welcomed me when we first…”

My words died in my throat as my head pitched violently back and forth. He had grabbed both of my biceps and was shaking me so hard my teeth chattered.

“Unhand that woman.”

“Stay out of this. You may be of the Kings Guard, but you have no authority over the Templars. This woman” he said sneering the word. “Is an apostate who escaped the circle. You can not interfere with Chantry business.”

I wind milled my arms trying to break his hold on me. “I am not an apostate. I am a new Grey Warden. Duncan sent to get any healing potions the Quartermaster might still have. Then I was to meet my Commander with the King. But he won’t…”

The Templar shook me again this time cuffing me once for good measure. “Shut up Mage. No one wants to hear your lies and you will not thrall a solider to get away.”

“I! AM! NOT! LYING! Duncan and the King will tell you. Please, just go ask him. He is expecting me back. We are going to protect King Cailan on the battlefield. Duncan will come looking for me and that will leave the King exposed.”

“See I told you she was lying. No one will allow the king to be protected by a Mage.”

Aveline carefully studied the girl. She left a lot to be desired if she was the king’s protection. She couldn’t even escape one Templar how was she going to fight Darkspawn.

But then again, she wouldn’t leave a girl not quite a woman in the hands of a man intent on subjection. “Do you know my husband Ser Wesley? He is one of the best Templars I know. He takes his responsibility to Mages and the Maker seriously. He wouldn’t treat a mage like this. Out of respect for my husband I am going to give you the opportunity to let her go. I will take personal responsibility for her. If she is telling the truth and is a Grey Warden, we don’t want to stop her.”

Suddenly the call to arms blew and I knew I had lost. Duncan was depending on me. And I was here arguing with the Templar. I gathered the manna put my hand against his chest and pushed with the aid of magic. 

“If you don’t believe me. That is your problem. I have a duty to do. And if you are going to send me to Aeonar then it will have to be after the battle.”

The Templar went flying backward landing on his arse in the dirt several feet away.

“If you could do that then why were you calling for help?” Aveline asked.

“We don’t have time to talk about this he is going to attack. I can feel my mana draining. He is using mana cleanse. My magic is useless. As a Mage I do not get to defend myself and Templars are always right or believed. And because I didn’t kill him and now, he is going to kill me.”

Aveline now understood the situation a little better. “Men protect her. Ser Templar she is under the Kings protection.”

“Maker damn you and your King as a fool. I answer to the Grand Cleric and the Maker. That apostate mage is going back to the tower to be made tranquil or to Aeonar.  
The Templar swung his sword knocking two of the knights off center and reached out to grab me.

“Micah. What is taking you so long? Is the girl a mage, or isn’t she? The battle cry has been sounded.” A second man in Templar armor appeared around the corner.

I recognized the voice before I saw the man and I was elated. Finally, a Templar I knew. The Knight Captain would vouch for me. He had known me the entire time I was apprenticed to the First Enchanter.

“Just in time, Hadley. The apostate claims she is a Grey Warden. As if we were to believe such rubbish. And these mage lovers are trying to help her escape.” Tightening his grip around my upper arm.

Hadley quickly looked the woman over. Her slight build, her high cheekbones, bright green eyes, and platinum white hair. “Rhiannon! Andraste’s Mercy child. Then it’s true. You are a Grey Warden. Congratulations Rhiannon, the Knight Commander sent word. Micah let her go. She is a Grey Warden.”

“Ser Hadley, thank you. Tell Knight Commander I am sorry for shoving his Templar and please stay safe.” This time I was able to stay free from Micah’s hold.

I didn’t listen, and I didn’t care if the woman who tried to help me was still there. Anything more I wanted to say to Hadley would be after the battle. I would thank her if I saw her again. But I was late, and Duncan and the King were fighting without me.

I ran as hard as I could praying that by the time, I made it to the battlefield I would be able to access my mana.

I ran… right into a Hurlock. I didn’t have to worry about my mana because either my terror allowed the fire to flow from my fingers or I was out of the Templar’s area of cleansing. The bald monster with a mouth full of teeth roared in pain as the fire consumed him.

There were three more of the short squatty ones running towards me. I sent a small bolt of electricity through the one farthest away as I watched the other two engaged by redheaded woman who tried to help earlier.

“Good to know that you can defend yourself. I am Aveline.”

I shrug and grin. “Just as long as there is no Templar Darkspawn. Thank you for your assistance. It is a death sentence to for a mage to assault a Templar. I am Rhiannon.”

“Nice to meet you Rhiannon. You better hurry if you are going to get to the King before he storms the battlefield.”

“I’m going. Thanks again for your help.”


	18. Heroic Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cailan is hanging on to life by a breath and loyalty causes one to commit the ultimate sacrifice.

I ran. Twice more Darkspawn waylaid me. By the time, I got to the field I could just make out the Kings golden armor. And was grateful for the pretentiousness of it. Maybe there was a point to having the most important man on the field wearing the beacon that said ‘come get me’. Neither friend nor foe would miss him.

I heard the Ogre before I saw him. Then I saw him. I tried to run even faster. But I was out of air. We were both moving toward the king. The massive Darkspawn would be on top of him before I arrived.

I was fifteen feet away from him when horrified, I watched the Ogre pick him up and roar in his face. For that moment I thought he was going to eat the king alive and I panicked, screamed the word ‘no’ and thought stop.

Several things happened at once. I heard the cracking of bones, everything within twenty feet of me stopped moving as if they were frozen in place. I dropped to my hands and knees; I depleted my mana reserves. And soldiers unaffected by the spell came rushing forward to help.

“We have to get him down from there. I don’t know how long it will hold.” I could tell we didn’t have much time as felt the magic dissipating. Before I could get a back on my feet, more attacked again us.

I tried a fireball, but the first one fizzled in my palms. I succeed with the second one. Much smaller than any I normally could make.

I lobed at the advancing Darkspawn. I could hear the Hurlock laughing at me as the fireball glanced harmlessly off him, maybe singing his armor slightly.

Two of the guard was able to cut off the Ogre’s hand at the wrist before the giant could move. Cailan dropped limply to the ground.

The Ogre broke out of the paralysis, throwing back his head and roaring in rage and pain. In that moment I watched Duncan as the Grey Warden practically jumped on to the beast’s chest and walked up the front of the giant, driving his daggers into its chest with each step. We should have done that instead of cutting off the hand.

He rode the Ogre down to the ground as it died. He wiped his face with the back of his arm and looked toward the tower. The flame was visible. The Teyrn would join us soon. He moved to stand up and almost collapsed under the open wound to the stomach.

I swallowed a blue vial of the lyrium potion and felt suddenly stronger. I wouldn’t be able to paralyze anything anytime soon, but I could make a decent fireball.

I saw Duncan holding his stomach and his arm bright red. I pushed my way over to him and shoved a vial of the purple liquid under his nose with the command to drink.

He would need more of the potion, but this would begin the healing and make sure the Commander didn’t die. I pushed another vial in his hand and stumbled my way back to the unconscious king. I opened the third injury potion and poured the contents down Cailan’s throat.

I had no idea how badly hurt he was I just knew that we couldn’t stay here. Soldiers had made a perimeter around us, but they were falling. We just had to hold out for the Teyrn. He would see the beacon and come to our rescue.

The perimeter broke for a moment allow a solider wearing the Kings colors entry into our circle. He spoke quietly to Duncan. The Grey Warden looked up at the tower once more and frowned. He nodded his agreement. The solider walked over to us taking off his helmet and undoing his chest mail.

“Milady. Give me his armor. The Teyrn has routed the troops. He is pulling back all the forces and abandoning us. Get the King off the field and get him to safety. I will create a diversion.”

“You can’t. You’ll die,” I said in denial.

“It is my duty to die for my king. If he lives, then my sacrifice will not be in vain. Now please do it for me.” He said continuing to remove pieces of his armor.

Duncan could see I was having accepting the death of one man over the other. “Rhiannon, he has made his decision. To talk him out of it would undermine his honor.”

“By the Black city how is a man’s honor more important than his life. Do you have a family? Something to live for?”

“Yes. But He is right. I must do this. I am comparable in looks and build to the king. I was for several occasions the king’s political body double. We need a diversion, and I can do that. The more we argue about it. The less time we have, to see that he survives. Now please help me.” He was completely without armor at this moment imploring me to see what needed to be done.

Through my tears, I begin stripping the king of his armor. In truth, I have no idea how and my fingers fumble with the strapping. My slowness is frustrating others, and they push me out of the way. I wring my hands not knowing what to do.

The solder finished putting Cailan’s armor on and pulled his sword. “Most of the Darkspawn should follow me. I have confidence in you, that the Grey Wardens can protect the king and punish that traitor who left us to die. Make sure they suffer my lady.”

“What is your name? I will make sure it gets honored.” I cry out.

“It’s Morien, I hale from the storm coast. Honor all the men who stand with the King and I will die happy.”

I watched him yell a battle cry and ten of our eighteen soldiers went with him drawing away many of the Darkspawn as his plan worked.

Overhead a red dragon roared it displeasure at the battle below as it flew toward the Tower of Ishal. I looked at the lit beacon one last time and though of Alistair and Aedan for the first time. I wondered how they were dealing with the boredom and if they knew what the traitor did.

“Rhiannon come. We must get King Cailan to safety before their sacrifice means nothing.”

I glowered at Duncan. Angry at how easy it was for him to dismiss life before following him across a battlefield strewn with dead and dying alike. And I could do nothing for them.


	19. Retreating to the Wilds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have saved Cailan at the expense of many others. Now they just have to save them self so the sacrifice has meaning. Rhiannon suggest going to see Flemeth so she can heal the king.

I check on the King, he is still unconscious. The internal damage from the Ogre must have left him almost dead if he hadn’t awoken yet. Or more likely my skills as a healer were abysmal. Our retreat had pushed us back into the camp all the way to where the King’s tent originally stood. Only two of the eight soldiers who stayed with the king survive this far. But scattered ones had come to our aid finding out the king was still alive.

At this rate, all we were doing was losing good men and women. And there were still too many for me to keep shields around and attack with my mana levels. I am getting a better feel for attacking without a plan, if I don’t think too much.

The men have stopped again and put the king down. His motionless form stretched across the top of two steel kite shields.

I took the opportunity to check on him again.

There was still breath in Cailan’s body as the reflective metal placed under his nose fogged over. I pulled the last potion from my pouch and poured it down his throat. That would make two healing balms and two injury kits. And if that didn’t wake him, breathing or not he might be dead.

“Duncan, we have to do something other than this. I’ve used all my supplies. King Cailan is still alive, but I don’t know how much more healing he will need. We are running around in circles and loosing good men.”

Duncan bent over with his hands on his knees breathing heavily. The battle had been a disaster. He was grateful for the moment that the Archdemon had not shown. The Grey Warden in him wondered if the beast was testing their defenses or reactions.

Then there was the treachery of the Teyrn. He’d dealt with the man’s stupidity years ago when they’d come to get information from King Maric. But to hold on to the stupid notion that Grey Wardens were going to usher in another Orlesian occupation was absurd.

She was right they couldn’t continue this way and they couldn’t give up. “I am open to suggestions Rhiannon.”

“His Majesty is not waking up. I don’t know if it’s because he was hurt more than my healing can repair or?” I stopped speaking not wanting to face the idea that so much was sacrificed for this man and he might die anyway.

My cheeks puffed out with the breath I was holding. Duncan said magic was magic but suggesting this put the King of Ferelden in an apostate’s hands. My instincts told me it was the right move. I took the chance and suggested my idea.

“This is going to sound absurd, but I think we should take him to the Witch of the Wilds. The darkspawn have abandoned the wilds for the battlefield. Which gives us a greater chance of survival even if there are band of them lingering. She warned Aedan and I it was worse than we knew.”

Duncan focus on me or that there were too many darkspawn in the area, but he didn’t sense them until it was too late. I screamed as the Hurlock swung his ax and my commander’s head was no longer attached to his body. 

Enraged I fling a fireball at him. He continues to advance screaming in pain as the fire burns at his flesh. Two arrows land in his chest. And I slam him with an additional round of lightening.

The Hurlock falls to the ground in death throws.

There are ten of us right now not including the two carrying the unconscious king. And they were looking to me for direction. And right now, all I wanted to do was sit in the middle of the battlefield and cry. But I didn’t have time for that.

I reverently picked up Duncan’s head, swiped that stray piece of hair back and carried it over to where his body was. I gently place the head on the body, gather the mana and create a ball of fire. I know that we are wasting precious time staying in one place, but I am not leaving him to be eaten by some disgusting creature.

I throw the fire ball onto his body and say the words Alistair said to us recruits before the joining. “As you perished know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And one day we shall join you. Until that day Duncan stay safe at the Makers side.”

I turn to the men and women knowing that I have less experience than any of them in the way of battle. And offer them a chance for one of them to lead. When they shook their heads no, I realized that even without experience as a Grey Warden I was the best chance of getting out of here.

“If you choose to follow me, we are going to make our way through the camp and travel into the Wilds. There is a Witch with powers greater than mine. I believe it is the King’s only opportunity. If any of you don’t want to interact with the apostate follow me until we are away from the battlefield. You can take your chances out there. No one will think less of you.”

I watched loyalty in action as it stiffened spines and squared shoulders of soldiers that those outside of Ferelden called stubbornness.

“Good then. I need a volunteer to see if the kennel master has any Mabari left that were not on the field. If so, bring them. They can augment our perimeter and give us additional warning of non-darkspawn threats as well.”

I wasn’t sure why no one spoke up. Did they believe that it was the easier job, or that alone they would be killed, or did they feel that they were abandoning us? “Demons and Abominations! Fine then I will assign someone.”

I looked at our rag tag group and sent the youngest two I could. “Go now. Meet us at the gate to the wilds. It is west of here. We will try to keep out of sight but moving in that direction. The rest of you change positions and someone else carry the king and give the men a rest.”

Duncan’s body was still burning when we left. Burdened with the overwhelming knowledge I might be the last of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden, I thought Maker help Thedas because I didn’t know to do this on my own.

We only lost three soldiers on our way to the gated entrance to the wilds. My eyes burned with unshed tears. As each protector fell, I said a word or two biding them save travels to the Makers side. The only thing I could do for them was to light a fire so they wouldn’t become food.

The young ones I had sent in search of canine reinforcements caught up with us about an hour into the wilds. They were able to save two Mabari and the left the gate open for the one who was still too sick to run.

I briefly wondered about the hound I retrieved the flower for. He wasn’t one of the two that joined us. I hoped either his death was clean, or he survived and found his way off the battlefield before the attack.

The surrounding forest was completely dark making our travel more perilous. We couldn’t light a torch, as that would give our position away to the bands of Darkspwan still in the wilds. My wisp gave us some light but caused shadows startling all of us at least once.

Our hounds were a Maker’s blessing as their noses and eyesight in the dark kept from falling prey to the more dangerous parts of the wilds.

I found a hollow space in a copse of trees and signaled for us to stop. We hadn’t been attacked by darkspawn for the last hour and I didn’t sense any nearby. I led the team away from roving bands of darkspawn. Most of the time it worked. In six hours, we only lost four more people.

The five of us trudged into the clearing and collapsed. We had been fighting, running, or walking solidly for the past nine hours.

“Rest while you can. The Mabari on will be on watch. I am going to gather herbs. I have enough concentrator agent to make a few more health poultices. I know it’s dark and cold but don’t light the fire. We need rest not another battle.”

I wanted desperately to rest also but two of the deaths could’ve been prevented if I had a potion to give them right after the fight. But I could do nothing for the cracked skull. One minute she was walking with help and the next moment she collapsed and stopped breathing.

Our last bowman had a cut to the underneath of his arm. We were unable to stop the bleeding. His death was the most madding to me, as he had no other wounds. One small cut to the artery and he is dead. I should have done more.

I picked as much foxfite and Heatherum as I can find. I don’t have the equipment to distil it here, but all potions need concentrator agent as a base. I gather the herbs for later use. For now, I would have to purchase the injury kits.

I should have known so much before I left the tower. I couldn’t help but think that had I been a better student I could have saved more. Realizing I was spending more time assigning blame and not enough to creating the potions I pushed the guilt aside to deal with later.

I had been gone for an hour. Everything at camp was calm. I was beginning to count my blessings.

The fawn colored Mabari greeted me with a wagging tail as I entered camp. And it was a good thing the hounds were on duty as all my companions were asleep.

Some sitting up leaning against each other and others were leaning against a tree. I didn’t begrudge them the rest. They had fought harder than a legion of soldiers.

I walked over to the king and touched his forehead. He wasn’t overly heated which mean he wasn’t battling an infection. But that was as much as I knew about healing.

I could only hope that the damage was so great that his body was just taking this long to heal. I unplugged one of my recently made vials of healing balms and poured the pink liquid in his mouth.

I was rewarded with a cough and a sputtering as the king began choking on the liquid being poured down his throat.

With heavily hooded eyes that looked like he had to pry open, he tried to focus on me.

“Welcome back, your Majesty. I was beginning to think I would never see those golden eyes again.”

“Where…”

Already kneeling I pulled the stopper out of the animal skin we kept water in and poured a little in the king’s mouth. “Were safe for the moment. You’re healing from the Ogre attack. Go back to sleep and let the potions work.”

He nodded his agreement and closed his eyes. I’m not sure how much of a choice our monarch had in the arrangement as his body was in charge right now.

I was cold and I probably shouldn’t be sleeping but I was dead tired. And I was no use if I was completely depleted of energy. I found a tree and settled against it. Smiling at something going right for the first time since my joining.

Several hours later, I woke. I didn’t really know how long we had slept but the sun was fully risen in the sky. Next to me was the faun Mabari. From her throat came a steady low growl. On the other side of the camp next to the king, the brindled hound echoed the low warning.

I could feel the taint in my blood beginning throb. When we were in the middle of the battle, it was like standing next to a waterfall. As we got farther away from the fighting, it toned down to a fountain. When there was none in the vicinity, it was like a bubbling brook.

For my body to feel like this there had to be a band of at least ten or elven. And they had to be relatively close. I pat the head of the hound and whispered, “I know they’re here. Let’s get the others up. Maybe we can sneak around them.”

As quietly as I could I began to move around camp shaking my companions and placing a finger over their lips to stress quietness. One by one, they shook the weariness away and prepared for another day of battle. I left his majesty to last. He would still need to be protected and maybe even supported but not carried. That would be the end of our blessings.


	20. Escape

9.30 Dragon 9 Wintermarch - Flemeth's hut

For the twentieth time today, I glanced at the man sitting and staring at the fire, refusing to speak. Or maybe not finding anything adequate to say in the situation.

He had a haggard look about him. Especially noticeable without armor and clothes sitting in a blanket draped around him like a dress with the end thrown over his shoulder.

His washed leathers were hanging out on a makeshift line to dry. The massive amount of blood that was on them had glued the garments to his body. Hiding the two wounds either he'd received before the Ogre attack or during our trek through the wilds.

It had been six days since the disaster of a battle with the Darkspawn. And three since that fateful morning in the trees.

Everyone but he and I died. All gave their lives just so Cailan Theirin could live and be transported to safety. Their bravery and sacrifice had striped the king of the notion of glorious war. Now he was a defeated man staring at the fire wondering how things went wrong.

We had made it to the old grey warden ruins pursued by a group of ten darkspawn. Or rather hunted by them. I have a feeling they were toying with us.

There were several times they could have overtaken us. Supporting the King and throwing fireballs didn't work. And there was no place to leave him so I could fight that he wouldn't be attacked. And he seamed to be getting weaker.

Often, they didn't retreat farther than the range of my fireballs.

Somewhere after second day of the cat and mouse game I started asking for miracles from the Maker or Andraste. I would have prayed to any gods at that moment. Or maybe I did. I don't remember.

And someone answered. I didn't care who. I just said a quick thank you to whoever helped. And accepted the new companion. A black and grey a Mabari who killed three of the genlocks as he joined us.

Cailan leaned on him for a time while I put the fear of the Maker into the other Darkspawn.

That was the first time I had created an electrical storm. It hadn't killed all of them as much as I wished it had. But with the electric bolts, fire balls and ice blast there I was able to kill a total of four.

We had to deal with three of them still harassing us all the way to the chasiend hut. Or just outside of the magical wards.

The closer we got the farther back the darkspawn hung. These were two apostate mages I was grateful the Templars didn't get.

I felt the line of demarcation as we passed through the magic the Witch of the Wilds protected her home with.

I had called out to her. But no answer. I had guided the king over to the cot laid out. He hadn't looked too good. Even with all of the healing and potion kits I had given him I had no doubt he would have died.

But the Maker or whoever had answered my last prayer must have still been looking out for us. Because as I had been searching for Flemeth or her daughter Morrigan I found two vials of purple liquid lying on the table. Almost as if they had been left for me.

I had given the king both in rapid succession and then pushed him down on the cot with the command to sleep.

Speaking quietly to the Mabari I told him he was a good dog. I had wanted to reward him with a crunch but didn't have any. I treated his wounds with water and a healing balm.

I had a few of my own wounds needing care. But I was in better shape than most of my companions as I was constantly chewing on elf root as others needed the refined potions to survive.

I had removed the two arrows. Tears streaming down my face as I pulled the barbed wood from my hip, and calf. It took a half a day to recuperate.

I had been right when I thought they were toying with us. The location of the wound told me that. I was grateful that they did but they should have just killed us and been done with it. Now behind the wards we were safe. Until Flemeth returned.

Which led me to this moment. His Majesty asked what happened for the fifth time. Each time he asked about a different element of the battle. Some of it made sense to me much of it didn't with my lack of battle knowledge.

His last question was about the Regent and why he didn't join the battle. He had gotten angry and told me I didn't know what I was talking about, when I said the man was a traitor. Loghain would never quit the field.

He made excuses for the Regent trying to convince himself that Teyrn Loghain didn't see the signal on the tower. He didn't speak again after I told him about Morien and his sacrifice or Duncan's death.

After getting the potions I was able to heal his Majesty without the Witch's help. Which led me to wonder exactly how long we should stay here. I didn't want to overstay hospitality especially with someone powerful enough to make wards to keep Darkspawn out. While the King slept, I left the hound with him and went hunting.

It was a disaster. Even with both Duncan's and Aedan's help it wasn't a skill I learned. I came back with two half burned rabbits which I only caught by throwing wild fireballs at. Which somehow, I was going to figure out how to make a stew with.

The hound on the other hand decided that wasn't going to be his dinner. He whined and shook his head as if trying to get water out of his coat. Frustrated I told him if he could do better, I'd like to see it.

Twenty minutes later I am dressing or trying to dress the charred rabbit and the dog struts into camp dropping a mouthful of rabbits at my feet.

I huff in annoyance and turn quizzically at the sound coming from across the fire. His Majesty is laughing so hard he is gasping for air. Of course, the man would sleep through my heroic saving of his life and be awake for the mutilation of his dinner. And subsequent humiliation by a hound.

"Fade take both of you," I snapped angrily.

The Mabari cringed, flattened his ears, and whined.

"I am sorry, boy. I wasn't angry at you. Just that you could hunt better than I could. Thank you for the gift. You are a mighty hunter, and your kills are in splendid shape.

He leans forward barks happily and butts his head into my sore hip. I put a hand on his large head and scratch between his black ears. Which satisfies him. It's now that I realize he is the hound I helped when I first arrived at Ostagar.

"Fade take you. Is that a mage thing? I've never heard the fade spoken about so casually. We are led to believe it is too scary of a place to be mentioned outside of a circle." Cailan said his voice getting stronger the more he talked.

I picked up the six rabbits by the ears and tossed the largest one to the hound who'd laid at the king's feet.

"More or less. It's safe from the wrath of the Chantry." I grinned weakly.

"Do tell," Calian said stretching some of the stiffness from his body as they talked.

"The Revered Mother at the tower used to get angry when the Templars would swear using Andraste's name or the Maker's. She felt it was a sin and disrespectful.

The Templars got away with it because the Knight Commander wasn't about to let a priest tell him how to discipline his men. The First Enchanter who tried to keep the peace allowed the priest to set punishments. As my teacher was the First Enchanter, I was made an example out of. My sentence was to recite the entire chant three times.

The Knight Commander felt sorry for me and the first Templar using Andraste's sword was stuck teaching me the lines of the chant. When I was done, I had more respect for Cullen Rutherford's patience and faith than the Priest's."

"Here let me do that. We want rabbit to eat. And I saw how badly you mangled what was left of the last two." Cailan said walking across our makeshift camp.

With a disgusted sound I shrug and pass him the obsidian dagger and the rabbits. I acted if I didn't appreciate the help but really this outdoor stuff was not one of my strengths. I longed for the tower walls and soft beds even with all the Templars.

I plunged my hands into the blow of water and sand I used to clean up after my first try. "Can you? Doesn't the king have servant who do that for him."

He grinned good naturedly slicing without hesitation into the rabbit. "Have you known a king who can't hunt? The first rule of hunting is skinning and dressing the kill. Or only hunt what you can eat. I don't remember which of them is first or second."

I find myself smiling as well as I look at him. His color is coming back. He will probably be completely healed once we get a good meal in him. But I can still see the shadow of haunt in his eyes and the sunken checks beneath the golden beard that has grown out from the stubble.

"No Ser. But since you're the first King I've ever met," I taunt.

I crossed over to the spot by the fire the was originally. I thought about sitting on the cot we used when we first arrived, but I wasn't quite ready for sleep. I was starving and didn't want to miss the meal.

Cailan shakes his head as he deftly debones the game the Mabari hunted. He wasn't sure what to do with the skin, fur and other bits that didn't go into the pot. Back at the castle the pieces were used to train the litters. "What is your Mabari's name?

I yawn as I try to make myself a little more comfortable. The dog has come over and sat down beside me. All I need to do is lean and I have a head and back rest. "I don't know. His previous master was killed in a skirmish and he had become ill. While I was in the wilds, I was able to find a flower that helped him get better. I was supposed to talk to the kennel master about imprinting after the battle."

Sounds like he knew you were responsible for saving him and he chose you. Which means it's up to you to name him."

"I don't know. His last master…"

"Is dead and you can't keep call him dog or boy."

"You make a good point. It would be too much like calling you king. What did you name your first hound?"

"Snuffles."

I opened my eyes and measured him trying to figure out if he was teasing me or did, he really name the poor beast that. I guessed it couldn't be any worse than the tabby in the tower known as Mouser. "All right but that fellow needs something more noble than snuffles. What about King or Prince?"

I laughed when I saw the expression on his face. "Wait. I know if he can't be a King, he can be a Teyrn. He is noble enough. He took care of us, found food, and came to our rescue."

'Agreed. So, what is he Teyrn of?"

I yawn again my eyes closing and I mumble "Of Ferelden… all of it."

Cailan looked at the hound propping the sleeping mage up and shook his head. "You understand boy, a King of Ferelden is nothing more than a Teyrn that all the other Banns, Arls and Teyrns agree to serve. Right? Just so you know you can't have the throne. Although you would probably do better at it than I did."

Teyrn barked in agreement softly so as not to wake his new mistress.


End file.
